3 yr old seems to cry at every little thing and I can't get anything done or relax

[ActingNormal]

He seems to have been born like it, he cried almost constantly for the first 13 months of his life and still cries often - every time anyone tells him no, however gently, every time he hurts himself a tiny bit, and he constantly 'argues' over toys with other children. He is so soft that he lets them take things off him then cries or cries if children just come near him sometimes and look like they might do something.

Other people's children seem so much easier and friends agree that he does cry a lot. How do I get over feeling angry that it just doesn't seem fair that other people's children don't do it and he does.

DD (5) is also demanding and volatile but has tempers more than crying and gets sudden fears over lots of things and starts screaming when other children are fine about those things.

Is it because they are both red heads? Have I done something wrong with them? Or is it just the personalities they are born with?

People do have different personalities, but they don't necessarily keep them all their lives. Dd (who is dark btw) was a great drama queen when she was younger and I found it terribly embarrassing, always worrying that people would think she'd learnt it from me.

She gradually grew out of it and now, at 11, is very sociable, with a great sense of humour and has faced some difficult times with great courage.

I think there may still be hope for yours- I wouldn't go dyeing their hair just yet

I'd be trying to be right there helping him in social situations, so that your are helping him negotiate (with the expectation that whoever is holding the toy first is using it, and the other person needs telling their turn will be next when the other has finished with it, and trying to find something else they'll enjoy playing with in the meantime), and you are there to hide behind if he's nervous of other children. Help him grow the confidence to leave your apron strings when he's ready - and the more you help, the sooner he'll grow in confidence IMO.

Find ways of not saying no... of presenting even more attractive alternatives so it's always a positive, and finding ways for him to do achieve what he wants (without hurting other people or breaking the law, obviously) whenever possible, even if it's unexpected and unconventional.

Thank you for the replies. It's good to have reassurance that it is probably just a phase for their ages (Cory) and good to be reminded what I should be doing to help them (onwardupward) - I suppose I know what I should be doing really, just need a kick up the ass to do it as I can get lazy and just want to shout "FGS just stop doing it".

I can relate to this but from a different angle in that DS1 (3) is EXTREMELY stubborn to the point where it gets mentioned at nursery almost every time I pick him up. I've spent months feeling depressed that my boy is the one who behaves like this, but I think at some point you just have to accept that they all have their own personality traits, but hopefully as they get older and more in tune with what's socially acceptable, they'll stop crying over nothing/being stubborn etc. The silver lining in your case is that he'll probably be a lovely sensitive boy and eventually make someone a lovely husband! Lord knows what will become of my ds1!