My little boy has always struggled with drop offs at nursery (he’s been going on since he was one) but he’s always been completely fine after about 10 mins (I guess like many children) and has a great day.
However, about 4 months ago, he started being upset for longer periods after drop offs, like up to an hour the staff would say and also sometimes during the day. I obviously spoke to him to try and understand more, but he just says he doesn’t like nursery. I talk to him about what he did like and then try to see if he’ll share what he didn’t. He doesn’t really say though and says he doesn’t know.
I bought some story books about nursery, feelings and how mummy and daddy will always come back to read with him. I obviously don’t make it too much for him - I just read one in between the other books he likes. He does like the books and I try and mention them subtly at the right times etc but they don’t seem to have helped him with his emotions or verbalising (I know he’s only 3! But thought it might help).
I spoke with the nursery and they say when he’s fine, he’s fine and very happy. He’s progressing well in all areas apart from needing emotional support. They say there isn’t a child that’s upsetting him and he’s made some really strong bonds with both children and adults. The nursery said it’s quite normal for children to have “needs emotional support” at this age - but I’m just concerned it seems to be getting worse and I should be able to help him. It’s so upsetting to see him so upset.
I’ve spoken to the health care visitor and she’s said to say something for him to look forward to at the end of each day and then do it, even it’s little like doing a puzzle. We already do this kind of thing but we’ve started to do more of it. This doesn’t seem to have helped either :(
She also said it’s important to validate his feelings opposed to saying “you’ll have a great day at nursery, you’ll do this and that -and all of your friends will be there etc” so although we always validate, we’ve stopped trying to change his mind and let him know it’s ok to be sad. This doesn’t seem to have helped yet either.
The only other thing she said is that perhaps he is ready to be moved up a class or he might need some extra jobs if he isn’t stimulated enough. However, I’m just not sure about this? It also seems a bit rude to suggest that to the nursery, but I obviously want to help him so would speak to them about it if it could help. He’s not due to move up until September at the moment to pre school.
He’s always happy when he’s home from nursery and at weekends etc. He did love going to grandads but is struggling with going there too now! It’s almost like a delayed separation anxiety he’s experiencing?
Grateful for any advice or to understand what helped your little one if you’ve been through this. He goes 3 days a week at the moment if that helps with any responses.
Thanks so much in advance! First time mum here so very much still learning! xx