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Can’t cope with DS9

4 replies

rnwmum · 12/03/2025 19:23

Hi, wondering if anyone has had a similar experience or any thoughts.

My DS9 is really struggling and so am I, will list below:

  • very fussy eater, will only eat what he fancies or his favourite foods, even if he likes something if he doesn’t fancy it on that day he won’t eat it.
  • struggling with his sleep, bedtime is usually about 8pm, he will lie in bed asking his Alexa to play different songs or asking her endless football related questions, he will often say he can’t get to sleep and sometimes awake until gone 11pm
  • He’s a perfectionist, if his drawing isn’t perfect he’s fuming, if he loses a game he’s fuming, if he misses a goal when playing football he’s fuming, these things lead to a huge strop/meltdown
  • he is highly sensitive, any of his friends banter or silly games he thinks is them bullying him (they’re not, although obviously I don’t dismiss what he says)
  • struggles to be told ‘no’ and will often stomp off, slam doors, kick things, chuck things around his bedroom, shouts at me to GO AWAY

obviously that’s a list of things we’re struggling with, he can be an absolute joy at times, he’s so smart and funny and lovely but those times seem to be less and less which breaks my heart. He shuts me out and won’t communicate with me and I’ve tried so many approaches.
school are aware as he is the same there, and he has had ELSA sessions, I have another meeting with Senco next week.

sometimes I wonder if he is autistic but I don’t feel he has the typical autistic traits, I realise can be different for everyone though.

I’ve tried increasing our quality time together, books about feelings, fidget toys, breathing exercises, less screen time, notebook where we write to eachother, I’ve tried being super firm with boundaries, I’ve even been open with him about how much I’m struggling (maybe I shouldn’t have???) I don’t know what to do anymore.

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 12/03/2025 20:48

It might be worth seeking an assessment just for the sleep aspect. Some people with ASD have trouble sleeping and find that Melatonin can help.

Has anyone mentioned the possibility of ARFID to you too? Flowers

Exgl · 15/03/2025 07:53

All the traits you mentioned scream autism to me. I would make an appointment with the gp and go down the assessment route

rnwmum · 15/03/2025 12:06

Thanks both. I haven’t heard of ARFID I will do some research. It sounds silly but I’ve never considered autism because he doesn’t struggle with things like eye contact, making new friends on holiday for example, he has a good understanding of other people’s feelings when he’s in a calm thinking state himself, I appreciate that I know very little about autism and how it can present! I also think these struggles he has have worsened with age and he was a mostly calm, easygoing child until about age 4/5 and even after that behaviours I wouldn’t consider out of the ordinary, it’s the last 1-2 years these things have started to really ramp up

OP posts:
Exgl · 15/03/2025 14:33

They say with autism problems worsen with age. It may or may not be it but best to see a developmental paediatrician for advice if you can.

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