Naughty four year old - advice needed

[DLI]

My ds has started to be very naughty, he has always been a bit "cheeky" in his behaviour but over the last couple of days it has got really bad. He pooed and weed in the garden at the weekend and it didnt bother him when i told him how naughty it was and how he shouldnt do it. Him and other kids got into touble today at nursery for practically flooding the toilets and getting soaking wet and again he doesnt seem to know he has done wrong and not bothered at all. He is going through a stage where he is being very defiant and difficult. I have tried telling him off, stopping sweets and treats, sending him to his room - where he just goes to sleep!!!! He either ignores me or just starts crying and kicking off. I am at my wits end. Is it normal and will he grow out of it!!!!!

Has something happened recently?
I would: (!)
~ catch him being good at least ten times a day - just little things like playing nicely or helping you. He will begin to want more positive responses.
~ Try the telling him once nicely, once firmly, then time out if he doesn't oblige, or do what you need to do (shoes on/wash face etc) He's four but i think four mins is a long time - you could do time out till he's quiet or get an egg timer for him to watch!! ( he must then apologise or/and rectify the situation.
~ or star charts?? try going to browniepoints and downloading one for free!

~

Pooing in the garden - I'd just say "ewwww that's yucky" and go and clear it up.

Weeing in the garden - er... I don't see that as a problem meself. Still do it on occasion if in a not-overlooked kind of garden.

The nursery thing - sounds to me like a group of inadequately supervised children rather than a bunch of naughty children. But what happens at nursery stops at nursery - I don't think you should be expected to tell your child off for something which happened on their watch.

What do you want to happen when you tell him off? Because ignoring you or hearing you and crying seem to me to be the logical responses on his part.

In your situation, I'd be picking my battles, not sweating the small stuff, and being present as much as possible offering cool things to do rather than having to fire fight by reacting to stuff you'd prefer he didn't do.

Too right. Ignore the bad -praise the good.

Whenever DD is a little bugger, I always amend my behaviour and talk nicely noticing all the good points and chill out over the bad. Always works however I always slip back after a couple of weeks due to tiredness but she soon kicks me up the bum again.

Glad to know it's not just me!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds totally normal to me. I had a lot of problems with my DS (nearly 4) until I realised that I had to lower my expectations and concentrate on the good stuff. He's getting better now (in the main).

THIS THREAD HAS ALREADY RUN ONCE TODAY...word for word

and DLI got some very good responses to it.

DLI, were you not happy with the responses that you got this afternoon?

oops

I think they were set off at the same time, perhaps she pressed the button twice, like in double posts.