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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How the hell do i get my 3yr old to sleep????

26 replies

CrazyMofo · 11/05/2008 22:17

shes becoming a nightmare! i get such little sleep that i feel like a zombie!

She was always such a good sleeper but since she turned 3 she is adament that shes not tired.

She has a HUGE tantrum when i put her for her afternoon nap (which she absoulutely needs) and its the same at bed time.

Please help

OP posts:

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 11/05/2008 22:21

unfortionately i cant stay on here to see if anyone replys but will check up on this in the morning.

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Tatterdemalion · 11/05/2008 22:22

I think 3 is probably old enough to drop her afternoon nap. As you say she needs it, but that is probably because she is not getting enough sleep at night.

I have had 2 problem sleepers and my solutions are.

wear her out during the day (max out on park/indoor play centres if you have to)
Religious bed time routine.
When lights out, do return to bed technique over and over and over and over again , night after night after night after night

itwasntme · 11/05/2008 22:25

Are you sure she needs the afternoon nap. It sounds to me like she is ready to stop it. I started to have problems with dd at about the same age.

We stopped the naps and it took a few days to adjust, but since then she has been going to bed with no problems.

quint · 11/05/2008 22:25

Are you sure she needs an afternoon nap? How long do you give her?

As for bedtime, do you have a bedtime routine? i.e. bathtime, cuddles stories, nighttime drink, calmly explaining all the time what the next step will be - so when she's playing, tell her 5 mins til bathtime, then when she's in the bath, 5 mins til we get out, then get her to choose a set amount of books that you are happy to read and tell her that after stories its time for bed and do not let her badger you into reading just one more - they're very good at that!!!!

If she gets out of bed, just take her back and don't say anything to her - you may need to do this several times, eventually she will get it.

BTW what time do you put her to bed at night?

hairymcclary · 11/05/2008 22:29

My dd struggled with the transition from having that daytime nap to dropping it. Once it was routine not to have one she slept fine again at night.
I would agree that at age 3 the daytime nap is appropriate to stop.
I did much the same, really wore her out, especially around that afternoon nap time, id have to keep her occupied or awake until a reasonable bed time (7ish, was a huge struggle) and then she slept really well for longer.
I guess she is potty trained? Might be another reason for waking??

Hope you get a good night tonight.

sweetgrapes · 11/05/2008 22:32

Agree with the others that it's probably time her afternoon nap was dropped.

And the bedtime routine needs to be in place religiously till she gest it back.

And the 'put back' afterwards.

My daughter was a nightmare. I had to 'put back' from about 2am till 5am continuously every bardy night for 3 months till she figured out it's a waste of time - now she sleeps beautifully.

(I was absolutely desperate which is why I managed to stick it out. She has sen and maybe that's why it took 3 months. Yours will hopefully learn faster!)

serin · 11/05/2008 22:34

Think I would drop the afternoon nap too tbh!!

Then I would do loads with her in the day, up early to listen to the dawn chorus followed by a nice cycle ride through the park, then visit to friends house to play with lots of friends followed by lunch in cafe.

In the afternoon you could go to the soft play place together for a couple of hours, then after tea a nice leisurely swim down the local pool.

She will sleep, and if she doesn't you'll be too knackered to hear her!!!

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 12/05/2008 12:47

Thankyou for the replies.

I have tried dropping her naps but she just becomes exhausted and then she's all moody when bedtimes comes and finds it hard to settle.

Although i may try it again, im sure with a little patience it may work out!

She does have a bedtime routine, bath/story/drink and cuddles etc.

She sleeps for around an hour to an hour and a half in the day.

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biglips · 12/05/2008 12:52

my 3 yrs old stopped having her naps when she was 2.6yrs old. At first she was so graumpy but then got used to it. Now its a year later, she have naps when she needs one (she had about 5 afternoon naps in the past year)- meaning if she is soooo tired, she have an hour nap.

i always get my DD to wind down abit when she come home from her preschool so she doesnt exhaust herself too much.

Elk · 12/05/2008 13:00

When my dd1 was this age I used to arrange 'errands' for the afternoons either in the car/buggy so that she would have a 10/15 min nap to see her through to bedtime. After a while she stopped sleeping so easily in the car/buggy and lost her afternoon nap that way.

quint · 12/05/2008 15:05

Try dropping her nap to just 20 - 30 mins, she will be grumpy (I would be too if I were her!) but persevere and she'll get there.

Good luck

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 12/05/2008 19:36

Oh fuck ive just had an awfull time putting her to bed!

She was so grumpy after not having a nap today that she started playing up, i gave her 3 'time outs'and they didnt work, i told her if she didnt get in to bed then she wouldnt get her story, that didnt work so i ended up smaking her on the arm!

Now i feel like a complete shithead, i didnt even get to say a proper goodnight

Please tell me this will get better???

Thankyou for all your advice, i will try to persivere

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Spoo · 12/05/2008 19:40

IT WILL GET BETTER!!!

I find mine are very grumpy at bedtime. Neither have a daytime sleep. I tend to let the behaviour go a little at bedtime and lower my expectations and move the bedtime routine along quicker. How about moving her bedtime a little earlier? Bedtime in our house is 7 sometimes when really tired they are asleep by 6.30. I know its very early but they sleep through to 6.30 in the morning. I presume she is asleep now? so it has worked in a way although it was harder on you.

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 12/05/2008 19:54

Thankyou spoo, nope she's not asleep i thought she was but she just started crying around 10 mins ago

I think i will take your advice and bring her bedtime forward to around 7, maybe that will help

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NellyTheElephant · 12/05/2008 20:01

It will definitely get better after a couple of days of no nap. DD1 was awful when I dropped her nap (at about 2 yrs 9 months). We got to the stage where if she had a nap she would be up messing around (in her room) but constantly calling me for this that the other and millions of unnecessary loo trips until about 9pm. I decided enough was enough and dropped her nap and then we had a ghastly week or so when she was so tired and grouchy at the end of the day that I could hardly cope (and she certainly couldn't). I brought her bedtime forward to 6.30pm for a few nights, but after a week or so it all settled back down again. I still had to treat her with kid gloves from late aftenoon onwards for a little while (repeat to myself like a mantra "she's just overtired, don't get cross" over and over again) but the joy of having a 7pm bedtime again outweighed the no nap grumpiness and she really did settle down again pretty quickly. I try to give her some quiet time after lunch most days though doing calm things!

mumwhereareyou · 12/05/2008 20:19

Mine is also 3 and does not have an afternoon nap at all.

Have to admit that from 5pm till bed at 6.45pm she is a nightmare,but once tea is out of the way and she has her bath then she calms down. She normally watches "Little Bear" and then goes up to bed with a story in bed and is usually asleep within 10 mins.

I would suggest bringing her bedtime forward to between 6.30 and 7pm. If she goes too late then she might be overtired and not sleep.

Best of luck,becuase i know how you feel.

Meeely2 · 12/05/2008 20:24

Hey there fellow mummy of 3yo. I have two of the little blighters darlings upstairs, who have only just gone to sleep. They dropped their nap about a year ago I think and they are at nursery full time. They sometimes drop off in the car on the way home (20 min car journey), and occasionally I can lift one from car to bed, where he will stay until the following morning, but usually they wake, we have a small snack and watch cbeebies as a family, then upstairs to bed after 64 Zoo lane. Story, then "mummy see you tomorrow, if I have to come up again, there will be no story tomorrow"....5 mins later "mummy, can i have a kiss and a cuggle" they both come down for a kiss and a cuddle, then back to bed - generally thats it. Today however was quite exciting cos DT2 found out he was long sighted and needs glasses, so bedtime was full of questions...I take the rough with the smooth, treat them exactly the same on bad nights as i do good nights.

phlossie · 12/05/2008 20:25

Ditto - my ds is only 2.3 but has dropped his nap. He just refused to sleep. We had a tricky fortnight, but I brought his bedtime forward half an hour, and he's started sleeping in later. So he's asleep by 7.30pm, awake at 7-7.30am. If he wakes before 7am, I plan a day out that involves a car journey so he can get half an hour in the car.

quint · 12/05/2008 21:55

This is just a phase and it will get better! Just keep repeating that to yourself, I know at the moment each night seems like forever but give it a week or 2 and all will be well - as long as you are consistant otherwise you will just confuse her.

Good luck tomorrow!

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 13/05/2008 10:05

Thankyou, i am going to persist and i will try and remember that she is only behaving like this because she is so tired.

Thankyou again

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quint · 13/05/2008 19:57

so how did it go tonight?

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 13/05/2008 20:03

a lot better tonight, well ive not heard her cry for the last 15 mins so thats a good sign! im keeping my fingers crossed that it stays that way

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quint · 13/05/2008 20:10

well done - see its working already. remember just be consistant - now go pour your self a nice glass of wine and relax!

MaloryTowers · 13/05/2008 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CrazyMofo · 13/05/2008 20:32

I really hope tomorrow night goes the same, although she has just woke up with a night terror but she seems to have them a lot anyway

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