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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Escape artist Flameboy - I am getting seriously worried... please can those with escapers share advice

12 replies

Flame · 10/05/2008 00:37

We fixed the bedroom escaping with double gate (see profile).

But yesterday he decided he wanted to go to the car with me... he couldn't unlock the front door, so DH thought he had given up. No. He walked into the lounge and grabbed him by the leg trying to escape out the window.

He tried it again today.

At home, it will be hot but we can keep windows shut. What do I do at other people's house's though?? I cannot watch him every single second. I need to wee, I need to blink etc. Do I demand everyone shut their upstairs windows (he's sturdy and will bounce from ground floor )? Do I take a pressure stairgate everywhere so he is confined downstairs/in the lounge?

What about bookcases - found him climbing that this morning to get sun spray.

Talking doesn't work. Naughty steps don't work. Shouting doesn't work. Holding him on my lap doesn't work. I have even tried smacking (my mum was at the concept of me smacking, which I think says a lot). Nothing affects him, he just yells lots if he is annoyed with the punishment, or giggles.

He is 2.

At this rate he won't make it to 3.

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

Flame · 10/05/2008 00:38

Going to bed now, so will reply in morning

OP posts:

Joash · 10/05/2008 00:45

In my personal experience, the only things that worked were; Fastening bookcases, etc to the wall (you can get strap things for this; Keeping all windows and doors closed and preferably locked when DS is in (bought fans); Hiding keys and fitting extra locks; take him everywhere with you (loo included).

GS has just about grown out of it (including scaling the 10foot fencing), but still tries to escape from the garden occasionally. He's 5 now.

StopSpyingYouFreak · 10/05/2008 00:50

Just don't go to other people's houses unless they will let you put a travel gate up

wabbit · 10/05/2008 01:07

I don't have an escaper, so not invited onto your thread but the OP begs the question...

Why does he want to escape with such determination?

Is there something you could change in your demands of him that would let him be him... without his death defying stunts??

that you resorted to smacking the wee thing

StopSpyingYouFreak · 10/05/2008 09:32

Oh Wabbit if you don't have an escaper, you have NO IDEA what it is like living with one, so I suggest keep your and your wonderings about what is driving him to escape in your inexperienced head.

Escapers just go. They go go go go go go go go go. They are driven by a need to use their bodies physically and to explore. All he is trying to escape is her supervision - she demands that he doesn't do dangerous things, and he wants to. What on Earth could she change?

Original poster

Flame · 10/05/2008 09:34

He likes climbing more than escaping, and his normal reason for climbing over gates/out windows is to follow me - he is very much a mummy's boy and doesn't like me going places without him. Bar having him with me 24/7 (which would drive me completely insane and not foster good relations with his father), there isn't a lot I can change in his parenting

Other than that it is to get something he wants - bubble bath to smear on floors, chocolate, biscuits...

I will go and get bookcase straps, and a travel gate so I can take it out with me (although if he climbs anyway it probably won't do much). I will get my house tidy too so people can come to me instead of me going to them

He has toys, I do activities with him, but he just likes climbing - he is happiest in the park with the bloody great climbing frames, but I cannot live in a park.

OP posts:

phlossie · 10/05/2008 09:38

He's 2! Some 2 year olds like to climb - mine does - he climbs just for the hell of it. Clearly the OP's little boy wants something or wants to go somewhere, and sees ways of getting what he wants. Ingenious really.
I'd take him to the park to climb on climbing frames and soft play places where you can get him loose and he'll be safe. My 2yo climbs on the 4yo+ equipment very happily and I can sit and watch him with a cup of tea - though I do have to rescue him from time to time.
Gradually, and with persistence and consitency, you will teach him what he can and can't climb - like anything you teach any toddler, it'll take a LOT of repetition. Try not to keep tempting things up high and in his sight, reward him when he asks for something instead of getting it himself... etc.

nell12 · 10/05/2008 09:39

Flame; you can get catches that attatch to the windows so that they can be opened an inch or two but no more, and then they can be locked in the open position; will try to find a link.

I would take a portable stairgate wherever you go... but TBH from what you have said, it would not stop him . Perhaps a phonecall in advance to friends when you visit so that they can get windows etc shut.

Best of British!

phlossie · 10/05/2008 09:43

Sorry X-post, Flame.

nell12 · 10/05/2008 09:43

something like this

Scroll down the page. It is not exactly what I was thinking, but it is close.

SoupKitchen · 10/05/2008 09:51

I too have an escaper, We shut all doors at night and have fitted slide locks to the top of door so we can lock them from the outside( but dont have to search for keys etc) this way he only has access to our bedroom his bedroom and hallway at night.

All low windows are shut and locked( have fanlights though)
Back garden has no exits and 6 ft fences

I find him sitting on kitchen work surfaces during the day, so I now have the magnetic cupboard locks and all surfaces are clear.

It is a nightmare having a climber.

Our best investment has been a climbing frame for the garden. We have found that an hour or so am and pm reduce his desire to climb and it saves trips to the park,

hth

stuffitall · 10/05/2008 10:07

Had a bolter though not a climber, and not quite so extreme. It's dreadful not getting a second to be off duty -- and you only do what you do to protect him! Support from friends when out and about is v important.. so difficult to go out with more than one child if one keeps running away. Sounds like it is becoming more and more of a game to him, and your discipline is even more of a game and a challenge. Second all of the above on security at home.

Sorry to suggest an extreme measure, but is there any way you can let him escape safely, say, running away in the park when you have lots of eyes watching in various spots, and let him go until he can't see you and feels lost, and not running after him. Am afraid this is too extreme and mean, but it could dull the escape passion a little? Only if safety assured of course. Not sure if 2 is too little to get the message but it's the "natural" way.

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