How bad is your 3 year olds behaviour?

[BlondieR22]

My 3 year old is out of control. He has a baby sister who he constantly hurts. He’s so jealous. He does the opposite of everything I ask. He shouts, kicks, throws things, breaks things. He is such a mummy’s boy and won’t let anyone else do anything for him. I can’t take it anymore!! What’s normal??? I worry he’s going to be such a naughty child at school and I worry our bond is breaking down as I am constantly reactive and stressed at him. All I do all day is tell him off, then we make up, then I’m telling him off again, it’s a constant rollercoaster I broke down in tears in front of him today which I know is not good for anyone. I feel like my daughter is already wary of him as he always hurts her. I have lots of nephews and nieces and none of them act like he does, even with younger siblings. I hate to say it but I feel like I have “that” child, and I am probably the firmer parent out of my sisters , but also try to be so emotionally available to him. I don’t know what’s gone wrong but I feel like I’ve failed him.

Sending hugs . My 3 year old has been so hard lately too . She will just refuse to listen to me most of the time : also seems very needs and constantly demanding of my attention. It's so hard not to react . I have 4 children and she's definitely my most challenging at the moment ! Hang in there - it's all a phase !

Ok so you ask what's normal. I would try and get some time to sit down and fill in the 3 year Ages & Stages and the 3 year Social and Emotional Ages & Stages. Scoring both of those should give you an idea of whether he's behaving in an age appropriate way or if you need to speak to your HV or GP.

I'd also do this very quick SLT checker. My DC2 had some frustrations from not being able to communicate effectively although their SLT problems are really difficult to spit unless you're a trained SLT.

If it does just turn out that he's being 3, then I'd try Little Angels by Dr Tanya Byron for a bit if hello on dealing with his behaviour.

You might also find a book like Happy as a Lamb or a set of Nesting Fruit Friends might help him begin to understand his feelings and how to deal with them

@fizzyblush thank you! It’s funny how different they can all be. Some really are just very testing. It’s so hard staying calm when you feel like they are constantly pushing your buttons.

@TinyMouseTheatre thanj you so much. So helpful. Looks like he is on track developmentally and maybe even advanced with his speach. This is good to know. I guess I’ve got to ride the storm.

thanks guys