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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Thinking of abandoning potty training after just half a day!!

15 replies

Kath100 · 29/12/2002 14:14

DS is now 2 and 3/4. Vaguely tried potty training a few months ago, but after he'd weed in the first pair of pants and pooed in the second, thought maybe he wasn't ready. So Father Christmas brought him a potty and some special Bob pants. Aha, thought I, this'll get him started. So last night we had a converstion along the lines of 'we're going to wear pants tomorrow because you're a clever big boy' etc etc. He knows that wee wee should go in the loo and all that, so I thought he'd be ready. So this morning, took off his nappy (big protest) after getting him out of bed, he wouldn't let me put pants on him so left him naked from waist down. Had the conversation again about where wee wee goes, then he proceeded to pee on the floor (wood, fortunately) about every 10 minutes until lunchtime when I got totally hacked off about it and stuck him back in a pull-up nappy, naturally feeling like a complete failure (yes, I know I shouldn't, but sometimes you just can't help it!). Despite me encouraging him to sit on the loo or potty, he just won't (NB he has done in the past as a way of delaying going to bed, although he's yet to deposit anything in there). Even offered bribes, but no. So, all you wise mums out there, should I
a) try again and be more persistent / dominating about it or
b) wait a few weeks / months / years until he tells me that he wants to sit on the loo (do they really do this or is it urban myth?!) ??

Help!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Demented · 29/12/2002 14:35

I would say leave it a month or so, it sounds like the potty has become a bit of an issue for him. He may just not be quite ready. As for asking to sit on the loo, IME it is not an urban myth. I tried to potty train my DS1 when he was 2y 5m with limited success, we very quickly shelved the idea and about four to six weeks later he suddenly asked to go to the toilet and did a pee, I felt that the initial try at the potty was enough to give him the idea and when he was ready he knew what to do. Not that he didn't have an accidents mind you, I would be prepared for plenty of those. All the best!

SoupDragon · 29/12/2002 16:33

If he's refusing to sit on the potty/toilet give it a rest as Demented says. You don't want to make it more of an issue. If you feel up to it you could continue with pants for a couple more days and see if there's any signs of improvement but if he refuses to sit on a toilet or ppotty, there's not a lot you can do!

You could try pullups and continue to encourage him to use the toilet, asking him regularly but not making a fuss if he doesn't want to. DS1 was clueless at 2y6m and got it in a couple of days at 2y 10m. He seemed to understand exactly what was required of him 1st time round but simply wasn't ready. We used pull ups for the intervening months and encouraged him to use the potty which he did quite frequently but not with enough reliability (no reliability at all for poos!)

Your DS will get there in the end when he's good and ready and there is anecdotal evidence that the later you leave it, the quicker they get the hang of it.

Caroline5 · 29/12/2002 19:47

If he's peeing very frequently (every 10 mins), maybe his bladder's not ready yet. I read that they need to be able to control their wee for about 2 hours at a time for them to be really ready, although we managed to train dd1 when she was peeing more often, but it was very hard work and there were lots of accidents. I'd definitely wait and try again in a month or two.

ScummyMummy · 29/12/2002 19:50

Abandon the mission, Kath! And you are no failure- children are evil incarnate when it comes to taking dumps in their knickers and weeing all over the place and respite comes only when they make the decision that sitting swathed in urine/excrement-lined nappies is not for them, thank you very much... and they're such perverse little buggers IME that it can take ages and ages for some of them to come round to this way of thinking, particularly if they suspect that it is their mother's dearest wish. Unless you have a will of iron and feel like frustratedly mopping up piss and rinsing shitty pants on a loop for weeks and weeks, I'd agree with the others that waiting a little longer could be a good plan. Good luck!

Batters · 29/12/2002 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 30/12/2002 09:20

Agree - wait till he shows more interest. However that potty and special Bob pants might already be sowing the seeds in his mind. Leave the potty and pants within easy reach, to prompt his interest.

both my sons became potty trained around the age of three in warm weather - less clothes to take off and nappies seem more of an incumbrance - so spring could be the time for you

Original poster

Kath100 · 30/12/2002 10:26

Everyone, thank you so much. I'm feeling much calmer already. Although when I see him sitting on the floor squeezing out a no.2 I find it hard not to physically pick him up and sit him on the loo to make it easier for him! I shall continue gently to mention that he might find it easier on the potty and leave the main event maybe till March when a) he'll be 3 and b) it'll be getting warmer.
Back to the pull ups then!

OP posts:

kkgirl · 30/12/2002 12:25

Kath100

As someone who nearly lost it completely while trying to potty train twins, try not to worry. It will happen eventually and hopefully will be a lot easier for you.
The calmer you can stay the better, I know it is hard, try not to make any fuss when there are accidents and be as encouraging as you can.
My twins were still wetting the bed at 6 and the washing involved was amazing but we have finally got there.
Good Luck

willow2 · 30/12/2002 20:56

Agree with all that's been said but.... ds was two and 3/4 when we started and had been showing interest in using loo and potty. The first day he must have had about fifteen "accidents" - the washing machine was on constantly and I thought I was going to go mad. The second day we had a couple and since then hardly any at all. It was almost as if he had to go through the yuk factor to hit on the concept of using the potty or the loo. That was about two and a half months ago and since then he's been really good... Having said that over the last week he's had more accidents than usual - excitement, rich diet, whatever - so made a really concerted effort to remember to take him to the loo every so often and he now seems to be back on track. Anyway, point I'm trying to make is that I think most kids take a little while to get their head round the idea and learn to hang on a little longer! Good luck for whenever you decide to go for it again.

jac34 · 31/12/2002 10:07

I agree about leaving it for a while, my twins were the same at about that age, but a month or two does make all the difference.
My ds is still not dry at night, at 4 but his twin has been dry for ages.All children are different. We still use pull-ups at night on ds, and he gets up and goes if he can wake up, which is his problem, he sleeps too heavily.

MumOfLeo · 23/08/2003 23:02

Maybe take a look at Gina Ford's "Potty Training in One Week"? My son is only 6 mos old, so we haven't had to deal with it yet, but Gina has been such a godsend so far, I'm sure she's the authority on potties, too!

bloss · 23/08/2003 23:50

Message withdrawn

Ghosty · 24/08/2003 08:03

Agree with everyone Kath ...
We tried DS at 2yrs6mths and gave up after 4 days of hell. We then tried again at 2yrs11mths and he 'got' it straight away and was dry within 24 hours.
Like you I thought it was an urban myth but it can happen!!!

karenanne · 24/08/2003 09:22

we've had a problem potty training dd for just under a year..it seems she was very insecure without her nappies on but at the grand age of 3 and 4 months we've finally mastered it.we went by all the signs that supposedly mean theyre ready but she hardly had any of these.anyway we just told her three weeks ago that we only had enough nappies for her to wear one at night and showed her her potty and since then shes been brilliant we've had no accidents whatsoever ...dont even need to ask her if she needs to go.we bought a travel potty and shes great even when we go out.

i agree with people who say leave it till their older as its easier to do and quicker ...but dont worry theyllget it in the end!
now all ive got to do is figure out ,how to get her out of nightime nappies

dcolagirl · 24/08/2003 15:48

I think boys are much harder to train than girls. DS is due to start playschool on 02 Oct and they won't take them in nappies. He is fabulous at weeing in the potty while he is naked from the waist down but put a pair of pants on him and he wets himself every time. He has pooed on the potty once, but that was sheer determination and hard worm on our part! He was desperate to poo for hours and eventually I guess it was coming out, whether he liked it or not, and we happened to notice and get him sat on the potty! That was a fortnight ago, nothing since. If he feels the urge to go, he lays down and says he wants a nappy on. His sister is only 18 months old and sits herself on the potty and gives herself a clap. She takes her nappy off, chucks it in the bin etc but DS doesn't seem to want anything to do with the whole potty training idea at all.

In the morning, his nappies are always full to bursting - which they sometimes do , it is such a testing time. Oh well, I think the best course of action is a few days intensive before he actually start playschool. Wish me luck

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