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Shy/ nervous child - please help

4 replies

tfortable · 06/02/2025 14:37

I'm so worried about my dc. He gets very nervous talking to others. There's very few people who he is completely comfortable with and speaks in his relaxed voice. I don't know how to help him. He is also the last in the line up/ following instruction. I think he's just not relaxed in many settings.

I'm trying to not make a big deal of it when with him, speak to him as normal everywhere with pauses, expose him gradually to new places/ people... He is fine replying to me but at the same place and time he will be quiet for the other person or reply very quietly, take a long time, just nod or shake his head...

I've never seen him sing in a school performance. If he has lines he remembers them straight away but usually speaks very quietly. He struggles greeting people, even classmates/teachers if in a different setting to what he is used to.

I know children develop in their own time but he just seems different to all the rest. How serious is this? Do I need to speak to the GP? Are there books I can read with practical advice to follow? Do they just outgrow it one day and suddenly speak to relatives, shop assistants in their normal, casual voice...?!

OP posts:
tfortable · 06/02/2025 16:14

Bump?

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skkyelark · 07/02/2025 21:37

How old is he? If he is 5 or 6, perhaps didn't do much nursery/preschool before starting school, this would sound on the shy side, but not alarming – gradual exposure, build his confidence, etc. If he's 10 or 11, then it's more unusual.

tfortable · 08/02/2025 07:39

Thank yoi @skkyelark He's yet turned eight.

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tfortable · 08/02/2025 07:40

Just*, not yet

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