Help with 2 year old tantrums!

[squinny101]

What can I do about my dd (3 in July) and her tantrums. The child has got such a temper on her. Today she threw a massive wobbly outside the house absolutely screaming her head off. I opened the car door to put her in and she ran off back to the house.

I've tried the naughty step, sticker charts etc. Nothing seems to work except putting her in her room and waiting for her to calm down and then asking for an apology. Howwever, the poor old woman next door must think there is some kind of wild animal in the next room.

Are there any other ways, I can stop them before they get to this extreme? Help please!

not sure, my DD is 3 in july too, and is much the same. Ive never really held much stock with the naughty step tbh. I think the best strategy is ignore ignore ignore - ignore the behaviour, not the child. Try talking to her through the tantrum calm and collected as if you have not even registered that she is kicking off, talk about something else etc. Oh yes, its very easy to advise others isnt it, mine can be a demon. Of course there are times when you cant ignore, this mornings tantrum presented safety issues so of course you had to react.

I think putting her in her room and letting her wail it out is a good plan. I don't think my DD would understand an apology, not when asked for, i prefer them to be spontaneous and come along with a cuddle Otherwise i think they just get used to SAYING sorry and not really understanding why, or meaning it.

I honestly find going off and doing something else that would interest the child really works, you dont even have to invite the child to take part, in fact, better if you dont, then their curiosity just overflows and they forget about the tantrum and come and look at the snails/pictures/story etc.

If all else fails, as it often does here - just collect some apple and egg boxes and line the wall nearest the old dear to sound proof - if thats not feasable, then its the cupboard under the stairs

I ask her when she calms down 'what are you saying sorry to mummy do you know what you have done' and she will say 'I did silly screaming etc. etc. Eventually she does give in but my god that child is stubborn. I had to karate chop her in the stomach today to get her into the carseat after her escape attempt.

I just can't believe how enraged she can get! Nice to know its not just me.

She may well be glad of her stubborn streak in later life . LOL at the karate chop, i have often had to employ the knee to stomach manouvre to get her into her buggy

i don't want to be one of those mothers who is always concerned about what other people think. But the couple next door appear to have given birth to an angel. And I am becoming increasingly paranoid about it. They must think they've moved in next to the Simpsons.

If by angel you mean, quiet, un expressive BORING child, then i know which one i'd rather have .

My latest trick with my extremely stubborn nearly 3 year old is to threaten to take away his favourite toy/telly programme/whatever he's really into at the time. So as soon as I can sense a tantrum rearing it's head or he doesn't comply with something, I say "mummy's going to count to three and if you haven't done xyz, then there'll be no xyz for the rest of the day". This seems to REALLY work with him in a way that the naughty step never did - tbh the naughty step made him WORSE if anything. I've only been using it for a couple of days though, so might wear a bit thin after a while... Good luck, I know stubbornness and tantrums are SO wearing.

My dd (2y4mo) was a royal tantrum thrower until recently. I'm not sure if things just magically changed once she became more verbal and able to express herself but I do think a couple of intentional strategies on my part helped the process along:

1. I tried the ignore tactic but it didn't seem to work with her, it just made her worse
2. Instead, when she is throwing a wobbly, I talk to her, saying that she must be really upset / frustrated / sad. BUT,I don't touch her until she has calmed a bit. Once she is entering the post-trantrum sobbing / air gasping stage, I ask if it's ok for me to hug her. She usually says yes.
3. Now that she is back to earth, I talk to her about how she was really upset and how it's important for her to try to tell me what she is feeling / thinking instead of screaming. and that screaming doesn't get you what you want. She often talks to me saying "I was crying" etc. I think it helps her process things.
4. I then go back to normal but DO NOT give her what she had wanted until she asks nicely (assuming it is something she should have)

I think a lot of the tantrum stage is about frustration at not being able to communicate / not having the power to do what they want. But when they start to get better about expressing themselves, things start to calm down. At least, that is what I am hoping...

Oh, and, giving her a warning and then counting to five before I take something away, turn off the water, make her get in the car, etc, has also helped. I think it helps her to have warning when things are going to change.