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Behaviour/development

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Toddler development: Girls develop faster than boys - right?

38 replies

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 09:40

Would you expect a 2 year old girl to be more advanced than a boy of the same age?
Or only in terms of language development and social ability?

Can you point me towards any threads/books about this or is it a bit of taboo subject?

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GooseyLoosey · 07/05/2008 09:43

Not really, depends on the children.

Anecdotal evidence only but I have a boy and a girl. The boy was born first and developed faster than the girl but I think that was almost out of necessity as he was only 15 months old when dd was born.

Linguistically, ds developed much faster than dd but socially dd is better than ds who is really just starting to learn the rules (at nearly 5).

juuule · 07/05/2008 09:53

Another 'not really, depends on the children' here. I've had a ds who spoke sentences at 19m and another that was hardly speaking at all at 2.5y. Social ability - I've had 'shy' girls and 'shy' boys, Quite gregarious girls and ditto for the boys. Definitely depends on the child imo.

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 09:59

That's really interesting, particularly as it goes against what I have observed so far.
I suspect I simply have not observed enough!

So is it just a myth that girls develop their language skills faster?

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Jojay · 07/05/2008 10:01

My DS and his als are all around 17 - 18 months.

From observation of his admittedly fairly small social circle - about 10, I'd say the girls do seem to be more developed vocally.

RubySlippers · 07/05/2008 10:02

My chatterbox 23 month old DS would disprove your theory i think!

i agree with the other posters in that it really depends on the child

Jojay · 07/05/2008 10:02

PALS!! not als

cornsilk · 07/05/2008 10:12

I've been told that the brain of the female foetus develops more quickly than that of the male foetus. Wonder if it's true.

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 10:29

When I was a teenager I remember being very aware (and a bit jealous)
at the clear advantage most girls enjoyed over the boys in terms of social awareness and emotional intelligence.

It manifested itself in various ways, for example girls preferring the company of older boys.

I have seen something similar happening with my dd:
She is fascinated by older toddlers and more often than not they return the compliment
and enthusiastically engage with her on her level.

Is that a girl thing?
My impression is that boys of that age don't seem that interested in other children.

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cornsilk · 07/05/2008 10:30

That's interesting my ds's play with chn their own age and younger.

GooseyLoosey · 07/05/2008 10:34

Again, I think it depends on the child. Ds has always been more interested in older children and adults as they have been better able to converse with him. But he is not good at emotional intelligence and stuggles to see why his actions have the consequences that they do sometimes. Dd (3) on the other hand is mostly interested in girls her own age who want to play the same kind of games that she does.

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 11:36

I suppose I am wondering whether those toddlers who are socially/linguistically less advanced than their peers are in fact focusing on something else - but what?

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juuule · 07/05/2008 11:42

Presumably something that interests them more. Surely that could be something different from child to child. Or maybe they just haven't matured enough in a particular area compared to some of their peers.
I'm not sure what you are looking for. Children develop at different rates in different developmental areas, surely. I don't think it particularly matters what gender they are.

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 13:35

Juuule, what made me start this thread is actually a comment yesterday.

dd was praised for being 'advanced'.

She likes to talk, sing and socialise. Fine, let's call that advanced for argument's sake.
Does that imply, though, that other 2-year olds who don't talk or socialise much are 'behind'?
Or are they simply advanced at something else?

I am asking out of curiousity but for various practical reasons, too.
For one thing, I would have loved to have said something really nice and astute back to the lad's mum.

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funnypeculiar · 07/05/2008 13:47

OK, I'll have to dig out the specific info, but iirc:

  • girls are (statistically, on average) better at language, certainly for preschool years, & I think quite a long time beyond. According to my Miriam Stoppard the difference levels out in teen years "Boys are later in talking & slower to put words in sentences, & take longer to learn to read. Speech disorders such as stutterering are far more common in boys & boys outnumber girls in remedial reading classes by 4 to 1". Obviously that later stat has to do with how boys vs girls perform in school too.
  • My recall is that girls are also more co-operative & skillful at group play (you could argue whether this is more 'advanced' than boys, though), more dexterous & physically able (countering the standard expectation).

My dad is lectures in child psychology, so I'll try & find some proper studies later, if you like?

meemar · 07/05/2008 13:59

Statistically girls do talk and socialise earlier, than boys. I don't think it's taboo to say so.

However, there are always exceptions to the rule.

In this instance the woman meant that your dd's speech and social skills have developed before her ds's who is the same age. This is statistically normal, so doesn't make your dd 'advanced' or her ds 'behind'.

or something

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 15:03

Ah, thanks for the insights!

And yes!, fp, would be intrigued to read up more. That's a very thoughtful offer

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Kewcumber · 07/05/2008 15:07

my 2 yr old DS is way behind his female peers at language and general amturity (if you can call anything about a 2yr old mature!). He is also slightly behind boys of his age too.

However is is significantly more dextrous and co-ordinated than any other 2 yr old I know.

witchandchips · 07/05/2008 15:10

also remember that any study will pick up any inante difference between girls and boys together with the effects of the enviroment. It could be argued that toys given to toddler girls (dolls, tea sets etc) require role play enabling faster language development

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 15:16

withandchips, exactly!

But what about the other way around:
Could I influence my dd's dexterity and co-ordination (to pick up on what Kew said) through certain toys or activities?

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witchandchips · 07/05/2008 15:21

watch what other parents say in the playground to their los. Think boys are more encouragedd. also don't foget the difficulty of climbing in skirts, v cool girl localy often wears a short tutu over combats which I think covers both the girly and the pratical base

Twiglett · 07/05/2008 15:25

I think position in the family might have more bearing

DS (first child) was talking in sentences by 18 months .. DD didn't say anything until over 2 years

DS took his first step at 10 months, DD didn't until 17 months

DD seems to have more hand-eye co-ordination than DS

DaddyJ · 07/05/2008 16:04

See, dd is 23 months and does not talk in full sentences.
'Advanced' is relative.

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Kewcumber · 07/05/2008 16:08

pmsl at 23 months and not talking in full sentences - DS is 29 months and has just started putting two (rather incoherent) words together!

Twiglett · 07/05/2008 17:28

now you have to understand that by a full sentence for 18 month old DS I mean "I want milk" rather than "Mater would you kindly hand me a glass of cow-juice please, thanks awfully ol' chappess" IYSWIM

Twiglett · 07/05/2008 17:29

oh and at that stage he called milk mook so it would've been "I want mook"