Went to a health visit - was told he is under developing...

[ourkidsparents]

Hi all,

My wife took our 2 year old (2 in November 2024) to an NHS health visit. They did a number of tests but essentially said because he cant jump forward or draw in a straight line, he is under developing?

He talks, he knows his ABC's, he can count, and over all very smart given his age. But because he can't jump forward or draw in a straight line on command, he is under developing? Who are these "Health Professionals" and where did they get their qualifications from?

Yes he can jump. He loves jumping on his bed... Yes he can draw scribble.

They weren't however bothered about a cough or a mole...

Any thoughts? Advice? And do we have a legal requirement to go to these visits? They want us to go to another in 3 months time.

Thanks for your time.

Dad.

You seem quite angry and a bit defensive.

It's very likely that the HV, who will trained as a Nurse then studied further to qualify as a HV will have used the standard Ages & Stages Assessment Tool.

Did either of you fill this in before the appointment?

Being able to jump forward and being able to draw in a straight line are both questions but the HV is unlikely to want to do a follow based on just these two questions.

The Assessment is designed so that most DC will score grey in 2 sections. Do you know what the score was?

You can refuse further assessment but if it does turn out that your DS does need some support then refusing to see the HV wouldn't really help your DS.

Instead I'd look up activities for a 2 year old to help with fine motor skills, typical ones are Play-Doh and outdoor chalks. Do you do many things like that with him?

To help with the gross motor skills things like going to the park, swimming and playing football/Rugby/Cricket will all help. There will be lots of suggestions online too.

I'd have a think about how you both want to proceed calmly before you make any decisions.

If he "knows how ABCs" I'd also read up on hyoerlexia and I'd do Social & Emotional Ages & Stages to see how he scores in that one too

No advice, but solidarity - I hate my HV so much I have stopped going to see her. She always makes out my little one is very behind and then the following week my little one always starts to do the things she wasn't able to do by the exact average age. Mine can jump and draw in a straight line but is nowhere near counting or ABCs, they progress on different things at different rates.

TBF I was never a big fan of ours either but the check that she has done in the OP's DS is pretty standardised, or at least that's the one she should have used. She's also done the correct thing in booking a follow up appointment.

You have 0 obligation to see a HV. My friend told them to fudge off as you said they are there to gove unwarranted advice but not actually help you with medical concerns. They may be used up for some but majority are therr to do tick bix exercise.
You can ask for no more visits or change to a new HV.

My old HV was AWFUL she came and did tick box exercise but never helped with my deep concerns about health. She was useless. And i was shocked to hear they are qualified Nurses who are Nurse practitioners. With DS2 we got a lovely HV who is very very helpful she can do refferals to specialists which the other one refused ahe had any ability to do.
I was a HCP many years ago and u fortuanlty the health care profession is a mix bag of folk. Some love their job and some hate it and can't be arsed.

My DS1 was unable to Jump until he was 2.5 years old and it was very small leaps. Even now at 3 he is not a keen jumper. Not his thing. He prefers to run and use his balance bike like a pro.
My DS knew his ABCs before 2 and now writes and reads letters and can identify small words. But he lags behind with the climbing and jumping as he has little interest. So it is normally for toddlers / children to develop more in one area then another
DS loves to read, books and the library and prefers that over the park. New HV has never said that was an issue

They can be a bit of a mixed bag can't they?

It's also a hugely underfunded service. The cuts made to this service have meant that there are roughly 40% less HVs than 10 years ago.

So whilst you do get the odd one who isn't very good, most are just trying to do their best that they can whilst struggling with a huge workload.

I disagree at the alloted apt time the HV is meant to do their best and provide a service. Claiming not to have the ability to help further and shrugging ones shoulders is not acceptable and nothing to do with staff cuts does it. Lack of care and interest is the issue. And unsurprisingly not doing enough for NMC I.e further development and bettering ones knowledge.

Where I live there is no issue with staffing and infact they are able to see parents more often then in England (wales). So the issue is down to individuals who care little for their position and want an easy ride. I saw this when I was training I saw this in my career in the NHS in many Trusts. Some just want an easy ride and want to do Bare minimum to get by. Others pour their heart and soul into their job. My current HV is that person at our apts she actually listens to me and makes things happen.
I come from a family of HPC and medical staff and I know this affects every profession.

I agree. You're always going to get the odd one who isn't bothered in any profession. That's why on other threads I've encouraged certain posters to complain about their HV.

This doesn't seem to be the case though with the OP. The HV has carried out the development assessment. He hasn't said what tools the Gv has used or if he had qualifications in child development. He's simply taken issue with the daft that his DS might not be developing at an amazing level in every ability. That's not a problem with the HV

Fact not daft

Your son seems to be very strong with pattern and memory, as he can say his ABCs and count, but the ages and stages questionnaire is an overview of development – it's designed to look at children across a range of different skills because a child can be very strong in one area (whether through natural talent, personal preference, or adult/sibling encouragement) and perhaps not so strong in another. That is generally worth knowing – these are all important skills, and we all want our children to have a good foundation.

In many cases, it may need nothing more than realising it would be good to get out the play dough and threading and duplo activities a bit more to encourage fine motor skills (or whatever area was less strong). In a few cases, it may need more professional support.

It's always painful when someone sees something 'wrong' with our child, but I agree with @TinyMouseTheatre – I'd let the natural emotions run their course, then look over the scores and consider if some strategic play choices might help him develop a broader range of skills.

A slight correction on the grey areas – most typically developing DC will have all white (35%) or 1 grey (35%). But 15% of typically developing DC (so 1 out of every 6 or 7) will have 2 areas in the grey – worth checking in on, but very likely just need a little time and perhaps some encouragement towards types of play that develop that area. (Happy to discuss the statistics behind it further if anyone is interested, but don't want to derail the thread too badly.)

@skkyelark I love your posts. So balanced and informative. In this case though I fear that the OP isn't coming back as we haven't all agreed with him

Thanks @TinyMouseTheatre.

I was hoping that after a few days for emotions to cool, the OP might be in a place to consider different possibilities. If not, perhaps it will help someone else someday.