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Behaviour/development

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3 replies

sophiajanexx · 14/01/2025 09:19

My 2.5 year old is a loving, affectionate girl but can be so difficult at times. One minute she is happy the next she is moaning/crying etc. Very difficult when it comes to eating and completely refuses to play on her own ever, even for 5 mins. We are very doting parents, and gives her a lot of attention. Eating is difficult too - only wants a few foods refuses any others. This is stressful for us. Sleep is even worse - fights daytime naps even though she is exhausted. Nighttime sleep is very disturbed waking up many times. Getting her to sleep can take anywhere between 30 mins to 1 hr (have to lie with her). She still bedshares and don't know where to begin in getting her in her own room. She goes through phases of only wanting me. Past week she has flat out refused her dad, and only wants me. Wants to cuddle me all night, I get barely any sleep and wake up utterly exhausted and have to go to work. Her dad desperately wants to help but she refuses, which also hurts his feelings and is frustrating for him. Any advice on how to get her to her own bed so that we can actually rest. Also tips on independent play etc. TY

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Firsttmum · 14/01/2025 16:25

Not much advice but right there with you, my girls the same age. Mine also has more clingy phases and it’s exhausting.

We ended up using the Ferber method of sleep training and it’s saved us. I felt like I was so tired that I wasn’t able to give my all to parenting/ work and sleep training really changed the game. Don’t get me wrong the first week was hard, I felt horrible for not attending her straight away as soon as she made a noise.

A few months on we both get a better night sleep, she’s happier and less clingy because of it and I feel like I have time to destress and prepare for the next day. Hope this helps!

TinyMouseTheatre · 16/01/2025 19:05

Does she go to Nursery @sophiajanexx and have they raised any concerns?

skkyelark · 16/01/2025 22:14

With food, what does she eat? As long as she's got something from each food group in there (and does she take a multivitamin?), I'd lean into her choices for now. Make sure there's always something she likes on the table, keep offering the rest of the meal, but just don't stress over it as long as she's a healthy weight, energetic, a good colour, etc. Many two year olds live on a handful of foods, then eventually broaden out to eat a normal range of stuff.

With sleep, I'd be tempted to either try dropping or capping the nap, or sometimes they have phase where they need a nap once every 2-3 days. Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep can be because she doesn't actually have enough 'sleep pressure', and then she's tired from the poor night's sleep, the same way we would be, rather than 'needing a nap' because her maximum wake window is 6 hours.

I've had two clingy sleepers, and the way I've approached it is settling them in their own room (in bed with her if that's what she's used to), and then if they wake whilst I'm still awake, I resettle and leave, but once I've gone to bed, I go through at the first wake and give myself permission to fall asleep with them. (If I wake up uncomfortable or get up for the toilet or whatever, I go back to my actual bed.) At first, this meant I was sleeping with them a lot, but gradually, the typical first wake slips later and later, and eventually they consistently sleep through. Something like Ferber would be faster, but something like this is an alternative if you think it would suit you/your child better.

If you need her to cooperate whilst you get stuff done, will she either 'help', i.e., not slow you down too disastrously, or parallel what you do (like 'writing a shopping list' with crayon and a piece of paper whilst you do yours)? If you just need a chance to catch your breath, the place both mine have played best independently is the bath. Nothing wrong with a long bath just for fun. Obviously you have to be there supervising, but if you can mostly sit in peace for a bit, it can really help.

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