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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

M y dd age 12 has a little mustache and is worried about it

47 replies

LovesTents · 03/05/2008 14:34

She pointed it out to me the other day, I had noticed it before but had never said anything obviously.
She has tried to shave it off as there is a bit of stubble there,so she is concerned and self-concious about it.
What should I advice her to do?
Is 12 too young to be even doing anything about it at all?
I had hoped she wouldn't be worried about this type of thing till she was older but she is growing up so fast

OP posts:

christywhisty · 03/05/2008 15:19

I would definitely use bleach, . I have tried a few other methods but bleach is much less noticeable as it grows out IYSWIM

It's not just a girl problem. My Ds is 12 because of mediteranean heritage is very dark haired and has thick eyebrows and quite a pronounced moustache now.
He gets upset because kids call him "monobrow" and "hitler"
I caught him trying to "wax" the middle of his eyebrows with those things you put on the nose to get rid of blackheads and spots

I got him some wax and did it properly for him, not touching the moustache though.

FranSanDisco · 03/05/2008 15:21

I used to use facial creme but got the burns as mentioned. Since my 20's I shave it and no-one has ever commented not even dh. I did only have long dark hairs at the sides not a full on handle bar. My friend uses bleach but it just looks like a blond tache and is still noticeable imho. My secret's out now

brimfull · 03/05/2008 15:35

I'm sure my mil shaves hers as I can feel the stubble when she kisses me on the cheek

allgonebellyup · 03/05/2008 15:54

dont shave! (stubble)

dont bleach (then she'll just have a blonde tache)

i find sensitive facial hair removing creme is fine, just dont leave it on too long!

Original poster

LovesTents · 03/05/2008 19:30

Thanks for all the replies, had a chat with her and we're going to try to bleach it first and see how it goes. She was delighted.

Dd has the same problem christywhisty, v.dark hair on her arms too and a little bit of a monobrow going on,I thinks she has started plucking it now though...

OP posts:

serenity · 03/05/2008 19:57

If she plucks her eyebrows already, maybe she could trying plucking the hairs on her lip? I pluck the odd ones I get, but mine are very fine, and probably not as noticeable as I think they are.
A friend of mine used to use bleach, but she was asian with very olivey skin, and I think the blonde 'tache was more noticeable than if she'd just left it alone. I think it only really works if the hair is quite fine, and your skin tone is quite pale.

DD is half Cypriot, olive skinned, dark hair and very hairy now at 4. I'm sure we're going to be in the same position as you when she's that age. I'd rather do something about it than let her feel selfconscious or be teased.

FrannyandZooey · 03/05/2008 20:47

will you also tell her that it is really normal for women to have hair in places other than where you see it in models in magazines etc? and that if it doesn't bother her, it is fine not to remove it
I think girls grow up feeling not only is it socially unacceptable to leave body hair where it is, but that it is freakish to HAVE the hair growing there in the first place

AitchTwoCiao · 03/05/2008 20:49

very true, frank. you could show her pics of lourdes ciccone. (just don't show her the hateful articles about her. although having said that i do think the Madge should also let her do something about her monobrow if it bothers her.)

FrannyandZooey · 03/05/2008 20:52

I read something about a study where they got women to draw in (on two outlines of female body) where they have hair growing (whether they remove it or not), and where they think the average woman has hair

completely skewed results - we all have hair all over the place and we all think a 'normal' woman does not

AitchTwoCiao · 03/05/2008 20:53

mine starts just above my knees!

FrannyandZooey · 03/05/2008 20:55

ah i have hairy toes Aitch

there was a poster on here in great distress because she found some hairs on her nipples
she was dreadfully upset and didn't know what to do

AitchTwoCiao · 03/05/2008 20:55

gawd i thought everyone had those... [toes] [nips]

Hobo · 03/05/2008 20:57

I noticed the same on dd1's lip last week, she is 10 this year.

Obviously i didn't mention it, but am dreading her noticing it.
Reading this thread with interest, lovestents, thanks!

I,btw, have the most marvellous beard

FourPlusOne · 03/05/2008 21:02

I would get her some bleach and then either help her with it or mix it for her (in case she gets it a bit wrong). I sometimes need to use bleach a little bit in the winter - though never in the summer. As others have said, it depends on skin tone etc, but is worth trying this before going down the waking route, especially if the hairs are fine and not long.

Original poster

LovesTents · 03/05/2008 21:29

oh yes, she knows that hair is normal on women , I've no hang-ups about having hairy armpits, she actually said to me the other day 'ugh mum shave your armpits' and I replied that it was absolutly normal for a woman to be hairy.

I think at that age they don't like it to be honest..

I think if she was to pluck there would be a lot of it to be done.Nearly all of the hair on her top lip is dark, although very fine.

OP posts:

hatjam · 03/05/2008 21:35

waxing can cause little spots in the hair follicles (sp?) but if this isn't a prob, i think it's better than bleaching - a snowy white 'tache can glisten something chronic!

cookiemonstress · 03/05/2008 22:18

speaking from experience, bleaching can be as obvious and shaving def not. Creme, i'd approach with caution. Personally if my dds have the same challenges I do in this area, i'd encourage waxing and try to save if poss for laser (this is my plan). With waxing, the hair should start to go back finer. After a while, it starts to hurt less (unless you have PMT) and with the lip, it's a very short procedure.

Just support her with this as I'm sure you will. It was the bain of my teenage life!

AitchTwoCiao · 03/05/2008 22:21

it must depend on the hair, surely? bleaching works for some, not for others, but it's worth trying for starters.

meglet · 04/05/2008 13:18

I'd bleach it and see how it goes. Although if you live in a big town there may be a good therapist that can do threading, I don't think that irriates the skin too much.

I was dead hairy as a child and am eternally grateful that my mum took me seriously and helped me keep it under control. School kids can be very mean about this sort of thing. I lad to get my legs waxed at 15 as the hair was so thick.

MrsMattie · 04/05/2008 13:20

If she's started shaving it, then might as well support her in removing it or bleaching it - but no moreshaving! She will end with horrible stubble that she'll have to remove with increasing frequency. Bleach first, then discuss waxing or threading if that doesn't sort it out.

thirtysomething · 04/05/2008 13:49

Just a thought - is there any family reason why she's got hair there (i.e. is dh v. dark?) Otherwise try keeping an eye on other things eg. regualrity of periods, hair in other places eg chin and torso, as polcystic ovaries can start this early (mine started around 13 and I gradually got more and more body hair). I'm sure it's nothing to worry about but I remember reading if you catch it as it starts you can nip it in the bud- mine wasn't finally diganosed till I was late teens by which time I had lots of unwanted hair

fizzbuzz · 04/05/2008 13:49

BUT, when you remove it with hair remover it grows back. When it is only just starting to grow it looks awful, lot of little black dots. Not enough to use hair removel cream on, but still really obvious. It looked dreadful the one time I tried it. Never again.

Bleach is best imo

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