My 4 month old has temper tantrums!

[mumtobe2]

My dd2 who is just over 4 months had temper tantrums !Didnt think it was possible so young and havent a clue how to deal with it as dd1 was so placid as a baby.Anyone have similar experience .Am worrying there is something wrong with her.She goes bright red,then purple and punches with her fists and kicks her legs.She makes this awful noise with her throat like a squealing noise.Just the tiniest thing can set her off like today i caught her nose with my nail.Didnt even break the skin but she screamed for about half an hour.Think she forgets what she was so upset about in the end!Has been like this literally since she was born .Honest!Anyone have any tips?

She isn't having a tantrum, she's just communicating in the only way she has. Some babies do get more upset about things than others and need more soothing.

no, but my 6 week old DD has these too and has been having them for a couple of weeks, so that's really early

things that set her off are similar to what you describe - e.g. once I accidentally hit her face with my hand while feeding her, it wasn't hard at all but gave her (and me!) a terrible shock, or last night DH sneezed while she was sitting on him

Sometimes she also gets worked up by things like having her face washed (which she hates).

She calms down quickly once I soothe her, but it's quite alarming to see a little baby crying like that. You have my sympathy for the 1/2 hour to calm her down - it must have been very distressing.

Ever since she was born she has always been able to go from totally calm to screaming madly in about 60 seconds. A midwife even commented on it one day in hospital and I told her she did it frequently.

I've never worried too much about it, just assumed it was part of who she is.

It wouldn't be that weird for her to have such a disposition as I was no stranger to the temper tantrum as a child.

I would be interested if anyone has any light to shed on little babies having tantrums though.

OH they are sooooo not tantrums! You wait til they actually have a tantrum!

I agree, its that they are commnicating the only way they know how right now.

Yes skidoodle can see so much of myself in her to be honest.I used to be like that and still am sometimes .Its payback time!Just such a shock to have a baby like this after dd1.She just cant seem to be soothed when she gets like this.I try to cuddle her but she goes rigid.

I think they are tantrums but they don't get any better. My DD is now 15mo and has developed the 'i'm not lookng at you' tantrum, the 'arms folded back turned tantrum' the 'running off and slamming doors' tantrum and of course all the usual stamping feet etc ones and has done since i can remember - i think it is disposition. DS is like DH really laid back till something is so bad it tips him over the edge, I used ti think that DD1 was like me I.e. stroppy but actually I think that she's quite good now compared with DD2. And yes i think it provbably genetic i have been prone in the past to the odd tantrum and it runs in the women in the family

I disagree and believe thay are temper tantrums. My ds was said to have had colic and all sorts of tummy troubles because he was so unsettled. It turns out he just has a fowl temper! He is 8 months now and still flares up over the slightest thing. I think a lot of it is frustration and not being able to do what they want and not being able to communicate.

I'm sure there's nothing ewrng with her, some babies just are more angry than others! Mine is a total grump and just wiping his face or putting his socks on can cause him to cry/kick/ go red in the face. You learn to deal with it! Hopefully it will pass but I have no advice. Just remember that she isn't purposefully trying to drive you mad, it's the only way she can tell you that she's annoyed!

Tantrums are more deliberate, expressions of frustration at inability to do or say what they want/need or anger. At 4 months or 6 weeks it is an instinctive reaction to pain , feeling unwell, hunger, tiredness etc. They have no other means of negative expression. They cannot control this unlike a toddler who initially could perhaps but may then get so wound up they cannot. If your baby often is unhappy and behaves like this perhaps seek a professional opinion ,as may be something like Cranial Osteopathy would help ?

Well, if these episodes really are temper tantrums, my dd2 was born having a tantrum as she was inconsolable at birth.

As Pavlov says, there's such a difference between baby upsets and real tantrums. I expect I'd be grumpy right now if I was hit in the face by someone's hand, even accidentally, and have been known to jump out of my skin when dh sneezes one of his LOUD sneezes so I don't see why a baby shouldn't get upset. I don't call that a tanrum, though.

I don't believe that a 4 month old has tantrums. It is the only way that a baby can communicate that they are not happy about something.

Oh I know the rigid thing - when she gets like that and is inconsolable I usually put her down on a blanket or her changing mat, and usually she calms down after a while. Sometimes it's as if she just doesn't want cuddles or me cooing in her ear.

Other times I give her to DH and he does what we call "baby gym" things with her - lifts her up to the ceiling (or pretends to throw her out the window ) and that distracts her.

Another thing that works for us is dancing - we put on some music and dance around the place and that seems to work well for some reason. How our life has changed when the only dancing we do is at 8am on a Sunday morning in our living room

You may well have tried such things, but if not give them a go. I'm sure you've tried feeding. I have but often it just seems to make her more angry. She has to be calmer to manage it.

LOL at the idea of all these daughters bringing payback for their mothers' past tantrums

It's righteous anger and when they grow up they will learn to channel their rage into productive energy to change the world for the better. Right?

suedonim

It's not the initial reaction though, sometimes after an event like that she gets incredibly worked up, very quickly, and goes all red in the face and does this weird guttural throat noise.

I guess a lot depends on what you mean by tantrum. To me it's an expression of impotent rage and that's what I see my DD doing. When she gets like this it very quickly seems to be self-perpetuating - she doesn't know why she's crying so you can't meet the "need" she's expressing as you normally would. I've found I need to distract her somehow to calm her down and then I can see what else might be bothering her.

She has lots of other ways of communicating that she is not happy about something - grizzling, crying, squirming, hands in front of face, head butting me in the boob. If this was her only way of communicating I don't know how I'd cope, and I would have brought her to the doctor by now.

Anyway, it kind of doesn't matter what you call them. It's certainly interesting and reassuring to know other mothers have babies who do this too. I wasn't particularly worried and I'm still not. She's a great wee woman

The OP may feel differently though.

I still believe that it is temper causing these outbursts. We tried cranial osteopathy, nothing helped. it's just the way he is. I'm sure when he's older he will be able to run off some of his energy and won't be so frustrated. I think that a toddler having atantrum is exactly the same. Basically, they are letting you know that they are displeased or they want something they can't have. It's all a form of communication. Some babies just have big personalities and from day one seem to know exactly what they want and they will scream if they don't get it!

I agree that a baby is likely to jump at a sneeze but only a certain sort of baby will object to it so strongly!

They are all characters though and I have learned to deal with ds temper.

I wouldn't change him, I'd rather he was a strong individual as he grows up (like my sister who was exactly the same as a baby) rather than shy and pathetic like I am! (who incidentally was a very placid angel baby!)