6 week old will not sleep in cot can’t cope

[2024avocado]

I am massively struggling to cope - I have a 6 week old who will not sleep in his Moses basket/bedside bassinet/crib.. basically he won’t sleep anywhere that is safe for him to do so. It’s gotten worse and we are currently doing shifts at night but it’s exhausting and isolating and I’m worried it’s not sustainable (husb will go back to work in Jan) or safe as I’m getting more and more tired. I’m in an NCT group and the other babies seem to be able to sleep in their cots to at least some extent and they’re all managing to do activities and things in the day. We have tried warming the bed first, putting things in that smell like me, various white noise machines/spotify white noise tracks, pacifiers, swaddle bags, raising the crib at one end, putting him down awake or drowsy or full asleep, various red lights, putting my arms in the crib, hand on him etc. The longest I have managed it is about 30 mins. Partner sometimes manages it for longer in the early morning hours. We went to the GP as he’s fairly fussy when feeding and gulps a lot, has some vomiting, grunts so much when lying flat and they gave baby gaviscon for reflux but we think it made him gassier and caused some constipation. It’s so hard to know why this is, some days we think it’s because lying flat is uncomfortable for him and other times we think it might be more to do with him just hating the cots. He’s prob close to 8 pounds now but he was born just under 5 snd so lullaby trust says it’s not safe to co sleep in the bed. I tried putting the baby mattress on the floor the other night and i curled up around him, not planning to sleep but just to see if it was proximity to me or lying flat that was the issue and he ended up crying. It seems people we speak to don’t follow the cosleeping rules as strictly as us and but were terrified of SIDs, I don’t know what to do and I’m so tired I can’t think straight.

Oh, that's hard. I'm usually an advocate of trying cosleeping following the Lullaby Trust guidance, but in your case, unfortunately that guidance is 'don't'.

Will baby sleep in the pram out on a walk? And if so, will they stay asleep when the pram stops? (If not, there's a little device to jiggle the pram a bit to help called a RockIt.) I have absolutely walked baby to sleep up and down the street, wheeled the pram into the lounge, and crashed out for a nap on the sofa whilst baby slept. Our carrycot was approved for occasional overnight sleep, so I've done the same overnight when needs must.

If it's slightly more than 'occasional' overnights – well, not ideal, but vastly safer to sleep slightly too often in the carrycot than you fall asleep holding him.

Thank you that’s really helpful I will look into the rocket! The pram should be safe I’ll look into that too, he does often start crying when the pushing stops out and about but definitely worth a try as maybe just more comfy to him for some reason!

Another thing you could try is using a T-shirt the DH has worn as the sheet in the Moses basket. I don't think that the smell of you usually helps them to settle but the smell of Dad can often work.

Thank you we will try that

I'd see if you can pick up the rockit thing secondhand – there's usually some about. My theory with DD2 was that the carrycot was just the right level of cocooning. Swaddling was too constricting, the beside cot too enormous. But she napped in the carrycot until she was touching both ends.

Thank you for your suggestions I will have a look into it

It might be worth trying a PPI for the reflux also. My LO had reflux caused by a dairy intolerance and hated being on her back.
Just something to keep in mind

On the reflux possibility- we found aptamil anti reflux powder to be a game changer for DS - def worth a go if nothing else is working….
DS was preemie so we were never able to co sleep either; the bassinet we had was fine for overnight sleep - while he was tiny we used to put him down for the night in that (with us in the lounge) then move him and the bassinet upstairs to the snuz next to me thing and put the bassinet in it 🤣 which worked well - then when he was a bit older worked up to putting him in it directly…..the anti reflux milk is def worth a go though - totally saved us

Hi @2024avocadojust wondering if you’ve seen any progress? We’re experiencing the same and I have resorted to cosleeping just to survive, but am desperate to change this ASAP. Hope things are looking better for you now.

I never intended to bed share either but for us it was the only way we could all get some sleep. As long as you follow the bed sharing guidelines there is no reason not to do it

@BunnyRuddingtonthank you, yes I’ve had a good look and am following the guidance, but I just don’t want to bedshare. Each to their own but it’s really not for us.

@SErunner so we had such a rough time of it we ended up buying the snoo which is very costly at around £1k on sale but we think we should be able to sell it for about £600 (you can also rent it or buy it second hand) and it saved us as nothing else worked. I know that’s not feasible for everyone and is quite extreme in terms of money, but it worked. There are some other brands that do motion bassinets cheaper. We’re weaning him off the snoo now at 6 months and it does have some tricky nights but I think they might have happened either way as as the snoo doesn’t sooth him anymore anyway and he at least does a long stretch 7-3am still. When he was 3 months old he was sleeping 11 hours solid in the snoo, never lifted motion limiter as well.