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14 week old fussy and gross motor skills concern

4 replies

Dawn20200 · 17/12/2024 13:42

Hi everyone,

I’m seeking advice and support regarding my 14-week-old son’s development.

To start, there is nothing medically wrong with him, apart from some persistent acid reflux, which hasn’t improved with medication, and an upper lip tie. The lip tie hasn’t caused noticeable issues beyond making breastfeeding impossible.

Since birth, my son has been in a near-constant state of misery. The only times he’s content are when he’s asleep—thankfully, he’s an excellent sleeper—or during about 50% of intentional face-to-face interactions when he is happily smiling and engaged. Outside of these moments, he spends most of his time moaning or crying and can only be soothed by being held while I walk around with him.

Unfortunately, I can’t wear him often, as he tends to fall asleep in a carrier, and we’re trying to maintain appropriate wake windows.

While I’ve come to terms with his temperament, I’m concerned about the lack of floor time and its potential impact on his development. Without opportunities for play or exploration, I worry about how this might affect him in the long run.

I haven’t even been able to assess basic milestones, like whether he can bat at toys, because he won’t stay on his play mat or activity gym long enough to engage without moaning, fussing or crying.

Should I let him cry it out for 10 minutes at a time on the mat just so he gets some floor time?

He seems slightly less distressed in a container, but I know that these should be used sparingly. With my older children, I used them minimally because they were happy to spend most of their wake windows on their backs on a mat, with some tummy time and occasional time in a bouncer.

Has anyone got any advice or suggestions for me please? The constant moaning and crying has taken a toll on my mental health and I'm now dealing with this added layer of anxiety that he will be falling behind on everything because he's not working on his gross motor skills.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Jellycats4life · 17/12/2024 13:46

You aren’t going to stunt your child’s development by not putting him on the floor or letting him bat at toys, I promise.

When you have a difficult baby it’s all about survival and doing what you need to do to get through the endless crying. It’s very hard - I feel for you.

teaandkittehs · 17/12/2024 14:28

Jellycats4life · 17/12/2024 13:46

You aren’t going to stunt your child’s development by not putting him on the floor or letting him bat at toys, I promise.

When you have a difficult baby it’s all about survival and doing what you need to do to get through the endless crying. It’s very hard - I feel for you.

Very likely true at this stage!

TinyMouseTheatre · 18/12/2024 07:21

I had a crier too. If he settles in a sling just put him in it. Reflux is bloody awful and like a PP this stage can be about survival.

If he's got upper lip tie has he got a Tongue Tie too? It's pretty rare to have the lip tie without a Tongue tie although obviously it can happen Wink

skkyelark · 18/12/2024 09:15

A healthy baby won't sleep more than he needs – pop him in the carrier, let him nap, and when he wakes naturally, he'll have the wake window that's right for him. They really do vary a lot more than the websites and books say. My two had much longer wake window compared to all the charts, and I know others who had the opposite. It's still a useful concept, once you know how to tweak it for your baby.

Being in the carrier uses muscles in a similar way to tummy time – not as intensely, but it still counts. Whilst he's awake and you're with him, can you prop him on a bit of an incline on his mat or under the play gym? If the reflux is making it uncomfortable, he might be happier with it if he's not completely flat. You can dangle toys for him to reach for and bat at with him sat on your knee as well.

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