ASD son lashing out

[Mummyof2asd]

Hi my boy is in year 3 mainstream his in the process of getting dignosed for autism, but waiting list could be 3 years. The school are in the process of getting an EHCP assessment. My son has always struggled in mainstream school he has no friends , is three years behind his peers.”, has after school melt downs. Now his in year three it’s like his breaking down he has hit a girl at school as he says they keep teasing him . When they do races or games like Simon says if he doesn’t win or gets out he will scream he always has to be first for everything and it’s causes big problems, even walking to school if someone walks in front of us he goes mad saying he wants to go first and darts off . We went bowling and he wouldn’t let anyway else have a turn he screamed we had to leave. I don’t know how to get him out of this. I know he needs to be in a SEND school which I will put on his EHCP bit have been told by the panel they recommend mainstream which is crazy his not coping at school . He spends all day when his home telling me he hates school, he doesn’t sleep never has . Sorry for the terrible grammar and I don’t exactly know what I’m asking for but I have just come home from another horrible school run. I feel so alone the other mums just think his rude. I feel exhausted and isolated and he probably feels worse .

What is the school doing to stop the teasing?

What support is the school providing? What have they tried but hasn’t worked? If your LA still has them, have they asked for support from the specialist teaching service?

Does DS take anything to help with sleep?

When you say the school is in the process of getting an EHCP assessment, has an EHCNA request actually been submitted to the LA? I presume so since you mention the panel stating mainstream. If so, what week are you on?

Has DS had OT, SALT and Ed Psych assessments?

Yes the EHCP had been approved I’m awaiting a draft copy which is taking a while. He has breaks at school from the lessons. He does complain to me that they treat him like a baby and he does baby work but I don’t think it’s there fault I think it’s because his not able to do year 3 work he can’t read or write :( it saddens be that his now starting to notice the difference between him and the other child and the other children obviously notice to and that’s when the teasing starts. They have tried separating the children into different playgrounds. I have also asked whether it’s possible to pick my son up 10 minutes earlier from school to avoid the busy school run which can be a nightmare with my child I’m awaiting a response. He had a 1.1 all day the school have another they can not meet his needs and he should be in a special school but getting a place is another challenge due to lack of funding and places.

his had a ot, salt and ed psychologist assessment all with the outcome he most likely has learning disability, autism and adhd and for him to be assessed on the waiting list been told 3 to four years. If he actually had a dignoses I could apply for a ASD school but I’m not in the position to go private unfortunately. Honestly feel like I’m letting him down.

If DS has 1:1 all day, the 1:1 needs to nip the teasing in the bud.

How long is taking a while? What week are you on? Is the LA sticking to the timescales?

Do you have any ASD schools within travelling distance who don’t require a formal diagnosis? Not all do? Have you looked at other types of SS?

If the LA doesn’t name your preferred school, you can appeal. Unless the school is wholly independent, the LA must name your preferred placement unless:
-The setting is unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs (“SEN”) of the child or young person; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others; or
-The attendance of the child or young person would be incompatible with the efficient use of resources.
Being full is not defined in law, and on its own being ‘full’ is not enough of a reason to refuse to name your preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DS is incompatible. This is a higher bar than many LAs and school admit.

So it’s been 9 weeks since the LA agreed to issue an EHCP for my son , I have chased this up as I thought I would of recieved the draft copy by now, the lady said I should receive it last week but still haven’t!

and I think the ASD school is an independent school but I was told I could still put it down on the EHCP? Is this wrong ? And there are a couple of other schools for children with severe learning disabilities that I rang up but they said my son is not severe enough to attend and then there’s another special school for children with behaviour problems but again I don’t think he would fit there .

the independent ASD school teaches life skills and work with animals which i think would be so good for my son but as it’s independent I don’t think there’s a chance .

it’s really hard as he doesn’t fit in a mainstream but not bad enough to go some of the special schools.

thanks for your reply’s I appreciate it.

If the LA is going to issue, they must finalise within 20 weeks of the initial EHCNA request and in order to do this, they should send a draft by weeks 14. If the LA is in breach of that and I imagine they are if the 9 weeks is on top of the weeks the LA took to decide whether to assess or not and on top of the weeks spent gathering information, send IPSEA’s model letter to the LA. If that doesn’t work, post back on MN for the next steps.

Wholly independent schools can be named in an EHCP, but the rules are different. You would have to prove the LA’s proposed school(s) can’t meet needs &/or it isn’t unreasonable public expenditure.

Have you looked at all SS within travelling distance (normally considered up to 45 mins for primary although some travel further)? Including any in other LAs. Think about what you think will meet DS's needs. Not just what the schools and LA say.