My 6yo girl has major meltdowns

[TGNL]

any one have any tips on dealing with meltdowns?

my 6yo is having major meltdowns and by this I mean she’s kicked the wing mirror off my car, booting the windows in my car, throws anything and everything she can, punches& kicks screams the house down. Having said this there maybe sings of Autism, she walks on her tiptoes 9 time out of ten, If we do anything outside of her routine it’s a major issue for her. Eye contact with people is a issue ( unless she’s know you atleast 6-7 months she won’t give you eye contact) if she isn’t comfortable with people when they speak to her she swirls her tongue around her mouth. All transitions to and from anywhere seem to trigger meltdowns, trying to get her to school in the mornings are the worst, we’ve been to the doctors and she has been referred as the doctor believe she shows signs of autism and adhd however the waiting list is months off& I personally don’t believe that all of these behaviours are down to this alone I truly believe some of it is her. whilest having the meltdown it’s like she’s a different person she doesn’t listen to anyone and anyone who tries to clam her ends up in the firing line.

we’ve tried reward charts, the naughty step/ corner

we also limit screen time with her as we’ve found she worse if we don’t limit it.

It does sound like she may be autistic from what you have said. If she is having an autistic meltdown then there is nothing you can do to stop it or curtail it, she is completely overwhelmed at that point and you will have to wait it out.

To help with transitions give her plenty of warning between each activity. If you can, talk her through the day ahead and what is going to happen. Routine will be your friend, the more of a routine you can have for her the more comfortable she will be. Lots of time to quietly/calmly decompress after school - with ds when he got home I'd read to him while he had some snacks (being tired or hungry makes everything worse!).

Reward charts had little to no impact on ds, he didn't care about it and naughty step is horrible all round IMO,(an unnecessary battle ground!). I would go with doing anything you can to help her cope, figuring out her triggers as much as you can, a calm, chilled house, routine as much as possible and lots of explanations of what is going to happen especially if outside routine and warnings before transitions. A lot of her behaviour will be down to anxiety so reduce stress as much as you can.

I would suspect that everything you have said is down to her being autistic tbh.

@Tess150 that’s what we’re currently doing just waiting it out making sure there’s nothing around that she can hurt herself with. It’s very hard to watch her struggle so much knowing I can’t do anything. In some situations when people are talking to her you can see she looks very uncomfortable asif her skins crawling!

she does have to know the ins and out of everything and I have notice if she’s tried or hungry she is more likely to have a melt down! I think maybe I need to look into autism more gain more of an understanding. The biggest trigger I’ve found so far other than being out of routine is loud noises she really can’t cope with any loud noises so we do try to keep the house quite and chilled for her she can’t cope with a busy house etc.

thank you for you’re advise