Hi all, I’m becoming increasingly concerned about behaviour my 3yo DD is exhibiting but as my name suggests, I am prone to anxiety after a horrific conception, pregnancy and birth (I am getting treatment for this). I would really appreciate some advice on whether the traits below seem typical for her age or whether I should go to the GP and request an assessment. I know it’s a really obvious thing to say to do, but I really don’t want it on her record that I enquired about it if it’s not necessary, for her to see further down the line – I’d feel awful. Please no judgement, I just want the best for her and would want to get support in place as early as possible if it’s required – I know girls are notoriously hard to diagnose and can mask and my biggest fear is her facing difficulties etc further down the line, kids can be so cruel. She has gone to a small nursery since she was 12 months, so I thought she would be confident by now but this isn’t the case – I work full time but she loves nursery and we’ve never had issues with her attending – she struts in happy. It's also been noted the concerns listed below are worse when her dad or myself are present. Thanks in advance for any feedback and thoughts x
Concerns:
*She is really shy with new people and refuses to acknowledge them (she does warm up slowly if around them for a while though). I am conscious not to label her as shy and don’t allow others to either.
*Refuses to say hello or goodbye even to people she knows (like her caregivers and friends when we collect her from nursery), sometimes with encouragement I can get her to wave
*Sometimes squeezes her eyes shut, for example when I put her in the car seat. This isn’t all the time though, but she doesn’t grin/smile at me either
*Wakes up most mornings whinge crying rather than happy and content, despite being well rested
*Hates shoes and socks, constantly takes them off in the car
*Always been quite demanding/bossy rather than easy and content – even as a baby
*When out walking, she still wants to be carried everywhere
*Hates facetiming family who live away and having her photo taken
*Gets very upset about minor and obscure things – turning off the television triggers major tantrums and she doesn’t like people sitting in certain chairs even if unoccupied
*Suddenly disliked “sociable” activities such as ballet
Things to note she does do:
*Extremely verbal and ahead in terms of speech
*Loves engaging in pretend play
*Very affectionate and gives cuddles
*Engages in joint attention
*Has formed friendships at nursery and enjoys playdates
*Shows empathy if someone is sad/unwell
*Not bothered for toys that spin or lines things up
*Good eater and sleeper