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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

When did your child learn to read?

26 replies

Amandella · 28/04/2008 18:34

My dd turned 4 in January and can read most phonics sounds and words such as cat, pig, dog, hat etc etc - a few short sentences. I think she recognises nearly all the sounds of the letters now and can work out short words given the time. However, her best friend at nursery is reading completely fluently and keeps teasing her that she's "stupid" because she can't read as well as her. Her mum is very pushy (although nice)...but she told me that she spends at least an hour a day working on reading with her daughter. I don't do much with mine - just read books to her and I did teach her the alphabet. She's off to Reception in September at a very academic school and I'm beginning to wonder whether I should have done more with her (or should do before she goes??)...she's not happy that her friend thinks she's stupid and frankly neither am I as I really don't think she is but what can you say to a 4 year old?!

Any thoughts welcome. Thanks.

OP posts:

paddycat · 28/04/2008 18:42

No, you are doing enough. So much of reception is about socialising and learning good behaviour habits - like not calling another child stupid?! - rather than the academic side of things. My son is in reception at a lovely private school which many people would consider to be academic, but as far as the teachers are concerned the children all progress at their own pace - some read quickly, some don't, but as long as they are all progressing, then great. Far better that your dd learns to enjoy stories, you don't need to "coach" them at 4 (IMO).

All the best.

paddycat · 28/04/2008 18:48

PS - my DS knew all the phonic sounds and actions before school but hadn't started blending at all, but could read fluently by the first half term - so your dd is clearly doing v. well already to be working out full words. She is so NOT stupid!!

Original poster

Amandella · 28/04/2008 18:59

Thank you paddycat...I really appreciate your comments

OP posts:

sarah293 · 28/04/2008 19:05

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kategarden · 28/04/2008 19:10

I'm amazed that anyone would expect a just 4 year old to read. DD didn't start coming home with any kind of reading material until the very end of reception, just before going into year 1.

hatrick · 28/04/2008 19:11

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RIELOVESBACARDI · 28/04/2008 19:14

they all get there in the end

Blandmum · 28/04/2008 19:15

dd was decoding phoentic stuff around 3 3.5

It only really 'clicked' with ds at about 7 or so!

as other say, don't worry it isn't a race.

Dh didn't really start reading until he was around 7. He has 4 A grades at A level and a degree from Oxford! Early reading means they read early, we shouldn't 'read' too much into it one way or the other

avenanap · 28/04/2008 19:16

I'm not saying but all of the other children in ds's reception class were just starting to read. There were some children that didn't know the alphabet, numbers and colours so I wouldn't worry, she's probably way ahead of most of them already.

alittlebitshy · 28/04/2008 19:17

poor little girl - having to sit and do an hour of reading a day with her mum. childhood is so short as it is, surely she doesn't need such pressure when there are all those years ahead of homework

Hulababy · 28/04/2008 19:21

No way would I be spending an hour a day doing school work with a 4 year old, before they are even school age. poor child

Think you are doing enough.

DD knew her letters and letter sounds before starting school, age 4y7m and could sound out simple CVC words, and things like her name, mummy, daddy.

She started learning to read on starting school and made quick progress from then on...no need for preschool school work to get her reading.

kategarden · 28/04/2008 19:37

I can't imagine an hour of reading either. But then I spent ridiculous amounts of time teaching DD to ride a bike (largely because I was sick of pulling a tagalong up a hill) and I guess others might have thought that pretty strange.

Mrspanic · 28/04/2008 19:54

One of my 4 could read really fluently at just 4 - nursery year before reception. But I didn't spend ages doing it with her. it just clicked. My other 3 made/are making steadier but slower progress. ds1 is at fwiw now at what's considered one of the country's top one or two academic schools. Ds2 (12) will go there in sept (could read before 4 but chose not to open a book outside school until he was about 10).

my youngest dc is about the age of your dd and tbh at almost exactly the same stage. i'm really proud of him, and wouldn't dream of spoiling his new found joy in early reading by making him do it for more than a few minutes at a time, unless he asks to continue of course.

Would second martianbishop; my dh didn't even speak English at 4, never mind read it, or any other language. Has an Oxford First and is Very Good at what he does today.

And if any of my children called anyone else stupid, not that they would, I'd be horrified. That child must get it from her mother. Will she be moving to the new school with your dd?

christywhisty · 28/04/2008 20:12

MY dd new her phonics before she started school and could put words like cat together, but as soon as she started school she just took off and was reading fluently within a few weeks and basically taught herself. I hardly had to do any reading with her.

DS didn't really take off and struggled until he was 7 when he caught up and passed the likes of the little girl you are talking about.

Clary · 28/04/2008 20:24

jeez none of the kids in the FS2 class I help in could read when they started school. Yr DD has done very well.

Other mum sounds a bit pushy to me and that's hideous IMHO.

None of mine could read anything beyond their name before they started school (older 2 summer born, DS2 April).
Now DD in partic is an excellent reader.

Ahh MB, so true, "early reading means they read early" and not much else frankly.

Meandmyjoe · 28/04/2008 20:25

Bloody hell she's doing amazingly already. I feel sory for the other little girl. An hour is a very long time for that. However, it depends if she enjoys it or not. DS is 8 months and when he's particularly grotty and whingy I quite often lay him down on his play mat and read to him for half and hour- an hour. Just because it seems to calm him down and I have nothing else to say to him but feel bad for just leaving him not talking to him!

I couldn't read til I was 5. There's no rush, she's doing great.

NotABanana · 28/04/2008 20:27

IIRC DS1 could read his name when he started school at 4 1/2 and some letters of the alphabet but that was all. He is 7 now and a very good reader.

DD knew some Reception key words from 2 1/2 and by the time she started school at 4 and 1 month she knew all of them and some of year 1. She is 4 3/4 now and can read as well as her older brother.

fuzzywuzzy · 28/04/2008 20:30

dd1 is five and in reception, she can also read phonetic words, and gets muddled with longer words, but she is good at sounding out letters and making a word (doesn't work all the time obviously).
However she's very good at maths rather strangely.

I'd not worry it will come, I distinctly remember I read my first book at six. Personally I don't mind if my dd cant yet grasp the complete works of shakespeare, she does appear to love reading, or pretending to read, and picking out words she recognises. Her school dont appear to be unduly concerned so neither am I.

Hulababy · 28/04/2008 20:32

Also the one thing it has been noted with a lot of arly or advanced readers - they can often e lacking in their comprehension, esp when tackling lognger/more challenging books.

It is vital that you check their comprehension regularly. The ability to decode letter sounds to make a word is one thing; the ability to understand what those words mean hen put together into a sory is a nother altogether and often ignored. Some parents get so hooked on pushing their children to read they forgot the important bit - understanding it!

amidaiwish · 28/04/2008 20:36

DD1 is 4.2 and has been reading fluently for about 6 months
they did jolly phonics at nursery and she just seemed to "get it". We don't do anything with her at home apart from a story at bedtime.

She is the only one reading fluently in her nursery class, and the only one of my friends' children who are all the same age. So, your DD is i think doing very well and nothing for you to worry about!

SpringSunshine · 28/04/2008 21:37

That sounds pretty impressive to me

My dd learnt in Reception, so by about age 4.5 was reading well.

ds learnt at the same time as her simply by picking up what she was doing so he was reading at 3 effectively, but that is unusual and was led by him, I would never push. He progressed well but more slowly than dd so age is a factor. At 5.5 he is justmoving onto chapter books

I agree on the comprehension front - they really need to understand,or know to ask.I found non fiction books excellent for both my dcs at the tricky 'ealry to confident' reading stage - especially ds as there are so few books for boys

I am sure there is something that your dd can do that her friend cannot - my dcs still have stabilsers on thier bikes whereas most of their friends do not; some of their friends are excellent at gymnastics or dance - dd likes football depsite having two left feet

It is not a bad thing for her to learn to deal with early as competition will always be there - just teach her that what she does is important and if she tries her hardest that is all you ask of her, and some good (but getnle for this age lol) 'put down' phrases.

I would also talk to the teacher and ask her to coever this sort of taunting in circle time

MNersanonymous · 28/04/2008 21:46

I wouldn't worry about her reading ability at all as everyone else has said.

I would however make a big effort to help her realise she is not stupid as the other little girl has said as that could really damage her self esteem.

What a silly thing for the other little girl to say.

Elasticwoman · 28/04/2008 22:16

Amandella - my dd didn't pick up reading till after she started school at 5 yrs 4 months.

I used to read to her, and probably heard her read now and again but certainly never spent an hour a day working on it!

Dd is now officially Gifted and Talented and scored in the top 5% nationally at KS2 SATS including 100% for 3 papers (of which I think 2 were English, the other maths but I'm not sure). The point I'm making is: age at which they take off with reading is no firm indicator for future achievement

hippipotami · 28/04/2008 22:23

Your dd is doing brilliantly by the sounds of it. And I feel sorry for her friend having to do an hour of reading every evening.
I had done nothing with dd (well, apart from reading TO her, but no letter sounds or alphabet or anything) by the time she started reception.
So she started reception without any 'advantage' over the others. But now, over half way through reception she is in the top 5 readers in the class. She is reading books the same level as a boy who could already read when he started reception.

You will find, your dd will soon catch up with, if not overtake, her friend.
But of course she will be too nice and well mannered to call her friend stupid.

tori32 · 28/04/2008 22:36

Your dd is doing fantastic and is anything other than stupid.
Pushing children to read for that long may actually make them lose interest in reading altogether. I would carry on as you are.

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