Bullying...

[Squirdle]

My neighbour has a child who is 5, the same age as one of my boys. Today she told me that they had recived a letter saying her child was bullying another child at school last week. She has totally dismissed this, saying that it was just boynsh behaviour and there is no way he child is a bully.

The trouble is I think differently. I know he has bullying tendencies. he and my son are friends outside of school, but this boy refuses to play with my son at school. At home her son can be quite horrible to my 2 boys (although he has become slightly better recently) DS2 is quite sensitive, but only since we moved here.

He can be a really sweet little boy and I am fond of him when he is being lovely, but this 'boyish' behaviour is encouraged by his parents.

He does behave when he is with me as he knows I won't tolerate that behaviour and am not afraid to tell him off.

I haven't said any of this to my neighbour as I don't want to cause any friction between us, but I do worry that if this isn't addressed by them, this little boy will become a worse bully. I like them a lot, but don't know how to approach them about this.

Do you think I should say something or leave it to the school?

Anyone?

I wouldn't say anything other than something along the lines of

"I'm sure the school wouldn't write to you unless they were sure of their facts, perhaps you should speak to the school about it"

I sort of said that maybe they needed to take it seriously as if it was an older child, it would be classed as bullying. She does get called into the classroom all of the time because of his behaviour, but she kind of tells me with a 'ooh isn't it amusing' smile on his face. The thing is, if he does get worse, then my son could be in the firing line at school too.

her face, not his!

If you say anything it will affect your friendship so it depends on whether you are prepared to fall out over it. Sounds like a nightmare in the making tbh

This is why it is such an awkward situation. Like I say, I am not worried about telling him off for misbehaving/hitting etc, and neither is DH. I haven't as yet had to speak to them about his hitting my boys, but if it became more serious I would. As for telling him off, if my children were doing the things he was, I would expect them to tell my children off! She knows I won't put up with him misbehaving in my house (not that I am really strict, I just don't allow other children to do things mine aren't allowed to do and hitting/name calling are just a few of them)

I will leave it, but will keep my eye on it.

I also think the reason it hasn't become more serious at home is because we bagan to get fed up with it and adopted a zero tolerance attitude to it. He has been sent home a few times by myself and DH and told that unless he started to behave/play nicely he wouldn't be coming back in to play. He knows our rules now!