Help!!! I’m loosing my mind with sleep deprivation with my 5month old.

[OneBusyTiger]

I’m first time mom and I’m beyond exhausted!

My 5month old is getting up every 2hrs at night. She initially had ok sleep at 2-3 months going 5-6hrs streches. Now the longest strech is 3.5hrs. She goes down at 7-7.30pm and then would wake up after couple hours and cry fully awake. We’re also struggling with naps, when she sleeps in the cot it’s max 30-40min. We can’t get past that 45min mark unless I drive or walks in the pram. I know it could be regression but when is it gonna end?
Is there anything I can do to help with 2hrs waking at night and short naps? I feed to sleep at the moment but I am trying to break it for naps but if I’m not feeding to sleep I end up rocking to sleep:( She won’t settle by herself in the cot.

I have no help, my family doesn’t live close by and husband works long hours and he needs to wake up early in the mornings.
Also I feel so lost when I google it, solution only looks like CIO or Ferber method.
Can someone please help with any suggestion? What am I doing wrong??? I get max 3hrs sleep at night and I’m close to breaking point.

I think that expecting an 5 month old to break the association with feeding to sleep and to self settle is a bit optimistic but I know that some people on here will not agree.

Can I ask what your days are like?

@TinyMouseTheatre thanks so much for responding.

She gets up between 7-8am and then based on that we have 2hrs wake windows before I put her down for a nap. Last week I tried to avoid feeding to sleep but I’m so exhausted I did give in by the end. She fights all naps and never settles in the cot herself. I need to feed or rock to sleep and then I transfer her to her cot. She max sleeps 45min.
She goes down at 7-7.30pm bath, sleeping bag and feed. Once she falls asleep I transfer her to the cot and for last 3 weeks nights are so unpredictable. First strech is the longest max 3hrs and then she will wake every 1h.
I don’t co sleep, mainly cause I don’t trust myself.

I think I'd take the naps first before breaking the association of feeding to sleep. I always found that sleep seems to beget sleep. The No Cry Nap Solution should help.

From what you've said though I think I can suggest some things to try as my first was a total nap refuser too.

For a the rest of the week I'd get get up at 7am and give her a big feed, both breasts and back in the first breast if she's still hungry. Then change her and get her outside for 10 minutes or so.

Daylight has been proven to encourage sleep.

When she's ready for her next nap I'd give her another feed and take her first a walk in the pram/pushchair. I used to walk my first around and then to playgroup some mornings which started at 10.

What you could do with doing is adding another feed in during the day. I don't know how often your LO is feeding in the day but I think the maximum I'd be wanting them to go is 3 hours and that is only if they were asleep. If they were awake I'd be offering every two hours with the aim of getting the majority of their calories in during the day.

Also, does the cot have nice, clean bedding? That might be part of the problem. Babies are particularly sensitive to smell so take a set of her bedding or her sleeping bag and put it in your bed for a couple of nights before you put it on her cot.

And I know that you say you don't trust yourself co-sleeping but unless you're smoking or on drugs it's safe. The guidelines on how else to do it safely are here. Entirely up to you though, I just liked my sleep

Two hours is on the shorter end of a typical wake window for a five month old. What happens if you try to space the naps out a bit more, 2.5 or 3 hours, and aim for three naps a day (most days, at any rate)? Watch her for signs she's getting tired, rather than going by the clock too much. If she's not tired enough, it will be difficult for her to fall asleep and stay asleep.

You may also find that she now needs slightly less sleep overall than she used to, so in addition to longer wake windows, either bedtime might need to go back a little or wake up come forward slightly. A lot of people find nights go best with the last wake window being slightly longer as well.

@TinyMouseTheatre and @skkyelark thank you both so much for suggestions. Really appreciate it! I’m ready to try anything and everything.

It’s not even midnight yet, she has been up 3 times already since I put her down at 7.30pm 🤦‍♀️