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Violent 8 year old

11 replies

NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 08:49

Has anyone any wisdom as to how to co-parent a boy who is becoming increasingly violent and controlling with his mother (but is angelic with his father, who he idolises).

Mother left father for DA.
Father continues to be abusive, controlling in his co-parenting interactions.

There are two younger siblings who sometimes get the brunt of the boy’s behaviour and who are feeling the awful ‘walking-on-eggshells’ atmosphere when he is in a mood.
TIA

OP posts:
NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 11:02

NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 08:49

Has anyone any wisdom as to how to co-parent a boy who is becoming increasingly violent and controlling with his mother (but is angelic with his father, who he idolises).

Mother left father for DA.
Father continues to be abusive, controlling in his co-parenting interactions.

There are two younger siblings who sometimes get the brunt of the boy’s behaviour and who are feeling the awful ‘walking-on-eggshells’ atmosphere when he is in a mood.
TIA

Anyone?

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 17/11/2024 13:21

How old is he @NameChangeHelpPls?

NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 14:31

TinyMouseTheatre · 17/11/2024 13:21

How old is he @NameChangeHelpPls?

8

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TinyMouseTheatre · 17/11/2024 14:51

Sorry you did put that on your title. I seem to be suffering with an extreme lack of comprehension.

I haven't got any experience of DA or co-patenting and can't really help you much with that. I was just wondering how often he sees his DF and how he is at School?

NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 15:17

TinyMouseTheatre · 17/11/2024 14:51

Sorry you did put that on your title. I seem to be suffering with an extreme lack of comprehension.

I haven't got any experience of DA or co-patenting and can't really help you much with that. I was just wondering how often he sees his DF and how he is at School?

Thanks so much for replying 👍

Every other weekend and one or two oversights midweek.

He’s fine at school.

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NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 15:17

NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 15:17

Thanks so much for replying 👍

Every other weekend and one or two oversights midweek.

He’s fine at school.

*overnights

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TinyMouseTheatre · 17/11/2024 15:20

If he's fine in school what's your gut feeling on this one? Do you think he feels safe with his DF and is well looked after?

Does he feel resentful that the younger DC are still at home with you?

NameChangeHelpPls · 17/11/2024 18:01

TinyMouseTheatre · 17/11/2024 15:20

If he's fine in school what's your gut feeling on this one? Do you think he feels safe with his DF and is well looked after?

Does he feel resentful that the younger DC are still at home with you?

The two oldest are full siblings and both have the same contact with dad.

I don’t want to specify too many outing details but no, they aren’t safe and haven’t felt safe but are aware that mum can’t protect them and no one else will. Their needs for personal care, meds etc aren’t met while they are with dad. They seem to cope by fawning and seeking his approval.

I’m not sure how much of the 8year old’s behaviour comes from his personality (very like dad) or how much is learned behaviour. Probably a bit of both.

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NameChangeHelpPls · 19/11/2024 16:48

He’s kicking off again tonight and it’s unbearable. Fighting with everyone in the house. 😭😭😭

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TinyMouseTheatre · 19/11/2024 17:36

Has he got a safe space to go to @NameChangeHelpPls to try and calm down? Has he eaten?

Can you talk to the school tomorrow? They can do things like Zones of Regulation with him Flowers

NameChangeHelpPls · 19/11/2024 17:59

TinyMouseTheatre · 19/11/2024 17:36

Has he got a safe space to go to @NameChangeHelpPls to try and calm down? Has he eaten?

Can you talk to the school tomorrow? They can do things like Zones of Regulation with him Flowers

He has his own room but he won’t stay in it. Just wants to start an argument if he can with anyone. He’s been hitting his sister. Following us around the house, going on and on. Just won’t stop. Banging doors etc.
He’s very well behaved in school.

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