Have I scared my DC with a time out?

[Applecrumble0110]

Hi

PLEASE DONT JUDGE I HAVE GENUINELY MADE A MISTAKE.
I have a 2 year old who has recently become extremely violent towards me recently and I am currently almost full term with my second DC. I get slapped and hit, hair pulled daily for what's coming up to weeks now. I tried everything, gentle parenting, gentle hands, walking away etc and DC will just follow and hit me. After so many attempts at stopping this a friend of mine suggested a time out in whatever room DC was in at the time. So thats what I stupidly did for 20 seconds I left the room and closed the door behind me. DC is capable of opening that door but didn't and just cried after about 15 seconds and as soon as I heard the crying I went in and got an apology and I hugged lots. But since that day DC is now scared of EVERYTHING and I mean everything. Wants holding to sleep. I feel like the world's word mother and don't know how to rectify:( please no mean comments, I'm so exhausted and heavily pregnant/unwell and partner works long hours in the NHS so some days get really tough.

I don't have the answer and I hope someone soon comes along who does, but I think you are being WAY too hard on yourself. Many parents use time out. I'm sorry this is happening to you

Thank you for your message. I have spent days crying over this and don't feel she deserves me as a mother so I needed the kind words.

Honestly you’re being wayyyyy too hard on yourself. You said yourself you tried everything else and it wasn’t working. Yes she’s only too and hitting can be “normal” at that age but that doesn’t mean you just accept it. You’re probably now over compensating because of how guilty you’re feeling about it and she’s feeding into that because she’s realised being scared= attention. Personally I would be really upbeat and breezy, she says she’s scared about something, just be really positive about it and a quick cuddle, no big dramas and distract quickly. I haven’t used time out personally but I don’t think it’s the worst idea in the world especially for violence. I’ve seen some mums online who create like a little “safe space” for their kid for when they get over whenever, a little tent with some soft toys and cushions, books etc and they can sit there until they are calm and then can come for a cuddle when they are ready. Wouldn’t work for everyone but worth a try.

You did nothing wrong. But if you keep this up you'll show her she can get away with things because you feel bad. You have to get her out of this habit before the baby is born. Even if you were not pregnant she cannot be violent to you or anyone else.