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How can I help my 9 year old son?

3 replies

MrsPeregrine · 07/11/2024 05:50

He is an intelligent and funny little boy. But his behaviour has become progressively worse over time.

He shouts at me and my husband and his younger sister, he swears at us, hits me and my husband. He’s often spiteful towards his sister. He screams if we try to take the remote control off of him. He is obsessed with anything gaming related, is Minecraft obsessed etc. Every morning he will wake up early and go downstairs and watch people playing Minecraft on YouTube (I’ve hidden the remote so hopefully that should put a stop to that now).

He won’t go to bed when we ask him to and every night is a battle. He will often leave it too late before going to the loo, and have to end up running to the bathroom and get wee all over the floor and loo seat. He never washes his hand and I’m constantly having to remind him too. I tell him every day to turn off his bedroom light. But every day without fail he will leave his bedroom light on or light in the bathroom on. He wont tidy his own room. I pay for him to have piano lessons which are costing me a fortune. He barely does any practice. Won’t do his homework when we tell him to and when he does finally do it he rushes it.

He just won’t take responsibility for anything and I’m worried because he will be in year 6 next year doing SATs. I don’t want him to ruin his chances of achieving his best at school and having a nice future.

His sister is 2 years younger and is completely the opposite. She’s never hit any of us. She never swears. She does what we ask her too. If we say that’s enough screen time she will smile and say ok mummy. She’s a good kid and puts up with so much regarding my son. Of course she doesn’t get told off because we don’t need to tell her off. But my son says we treat her differently to him and accuses me of favouritism. I think he feels like the underdog but I love them both dearly.

I am worried that he’s got to a stage where he’s developed behavioural habits that are too ingrained.

I have tried limiting screen time but it doesn’t seem to help. He just goes on and on about it and just takes his frustration out on us when he doesn’t get what he wants. I think we are going to have to tell him that until his behaviour improves consistently that he won’t be getting any screen time on his laptop or Xbox.

Has anyone else been through the same?

OP posts:
PolaroidPrincess · 07/11/2024 20:26

I think you're right to think about getting some support, usually they've grown out of hitting by around 3.

The first thing I'd suggest is doing this quick progress checker, just to see if communication could be an issue Flowers

MrsPeregrine · 08/11/2024 00:29

Thanks. Today we had a talk with him and explained we think he needs some time away from screens until we see a consistent improvement in his behaviour. He was a bit sulky at first but when he came home from school there were no tantrums and he was playing happily on the piano for ages. It was a joy to see. Then later in the evening he was playing a game with his sister (not involving screens or computer games) and there were no arguments. He actually seemed really happy. I praised him for his good behaviour. I know it’s only been one day but I hope this might be a way forward. I think he might find the weekend difficult without screens but will try and distract him with other non-screen related activities.

OP posts:
PolaroidPrincess · 08/11/2024 07:41

That all sounds really positive. I'd still do the progress checker that I linked to though Wink

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