Is it unreasonable to ask a 5 1/2 yr old to stay in bed until 6:15am?

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My youngest has always been an early riser, however he also has behavioural issues to do with independence and emotional regulation and these worsen with tiredness. We have used a gro clock with him to try and get him to sleep later since he was about 3. It’s never really worked. The past 6 months or so we have ramped up the consistency, used star charts, have done prizes for staying in bed for 5 mornings etc etc but literally nothing works!! He would prefer to not have to stay in his bedroom than get the stickers, prizes etc.

This is now causing arguments between myself and my partner as I think we just need to accept he is an early riser, one of us get up with him at 5:30am or whenever, and put that extra time in the morning to use. Partner thinks shouting at him and sticking with the gro clock until it works is the way to go.

Is it unreasonable to expect a 5 1/2 yr old to stay in his bedroom (either chilling in bed or playing quietly in his room; there are lots of toys in there) until 6:15am? What time do your children get up?

Thanks

however he also has behavioural issues to do with independence and emotional regulation and these worsen with tiredness.

Is he NT OP? Sticker charts rarely worker for my ND youngest.

Hello, I started another thread about this in aibu as no one was replying to this one, had actually thought I’d deleted this one! He is very likely ND, parenting him has always been v hard work compared to his siblings. myself and his older brother almost certainly have adhd. We have a meeting with school to discuss whether he needs more support and an assesment later this month. I think this might be why we are not getting anywhere tbh. How do you introduce new routines / expectations with your youngest? There are other basic skills he needs to be doing and isn’t (brushing teeth, getting dressed etc) but again everything we try doesn’t come to anything

The trouble with a lot of things that should work is that they often don't with a DC who is, or could be ND.

With DC2 we've had to completely alter how we parent.

How's his eating? You may get some benefit from giving him high protein foods and reducing the carbs a little.

Does he have opportunities to regulate during the day and at bedtime? Taking him for a walk in the countryside or even a run and maybe some guided meditation aimed at DC his age at bedtime?

Its a relief to read this response as I feel like his behaviour is constantly blamed on my
parenting and (particularly from grandparents) and it’s a lot of pressure to be trying so hard but getting nowhere.

tbh I am really hoping the school do suggest an assessment as I think that’s the only thing that will change how my partner and the rest of the family perceive him and treat him. If he is ND we are going straight to parenting classes to help learn the best approach to parent him.

his diet isn’t very high in protein as he won’t eat a lot of meat or pulses. He does have cheese and either yoghurt or milk each day. He mostly likes to eat fruits, raw vegetables (although fairly limited range, maybe 5 or 6 types he will eat), and carbs like pasta, rice, toast, cereal. I’m sure a better diet would help things but not sure how to get it in him! He is likely eating too much sugar through all the fruit and carbs.

lots of time to regulate as he goes to a tiny free school with a lot of emphasis on outdoor learning. He loves dog walks and being out on his bike. We go skiing once a year and that’s the happiest he is all year. Now you’ve made me think about it, when he is doing non competitive physical things is when he is most regulated

Its a relief to read this response as I feel like his behaviour is constantly blamed on myparenting and (particularly from grandparents) and it’s a lot of pressure to be trying so hard but getting nowhere

I doubt very much it's your parenting, especially as you're so motivated to help him. I'd start trying to turn a deaf ear to any criticism. I'm not saying your DS is ND but if he is then people who've had NT DC often just don't understand how different it is.

tbh I am really hoping the school do suggest an assessment as I think that’s the only thing that will change how my partner and the rest of the family perceive him and treat him. If he is ND we are going straight to parenting classes to help learn the best approach to parent him.

I think the biggest thing my DC have from their diagnosis is understanding of why they are like they are.

his diet isn’t very high in protein as he won’t eat a lot of meat or pulses. He does have cheese and either yoghurt or milk each day. He mostly likes to eat fruits, raw vegetables (although fairly limited range, maybe 5 or 6 types he will eat), and carbs like pasta, rice, toast, cereal. I’m sure a better diet would help things but not sure how to get it in him! He is likely eating too much sugar through all the fruit and carbs.

DC has Food Avoidant Disorder previously known as ARFID so I can totally get limited diets

lots of time to regulate as he goes to a tiny free school with a lot of emphasis on outdoor learning. He loves dog walks and being out on his bike. We go skiing once a year and that’s the happiest he is all year. Now you’ve made me think about it, when he is doing non competitive physical things is when he is most regulated

If he's best when he's skiing is there a Ski slope nearby that does classes at the weekend? Mine both liked Cricket. Although it's competitive it's more geared to being part of a team and there a lot less physical contact than football or Rugby. Perhaps have a look at your local club around April time to see what they have on for their younger players

Hockey is usually on this time of year. Our club does a Saturday morning session for the smaller ones which is enjoyable and they lend you the sticks.

It's hard to get the balance right though between doing activities that regulate and downtime so that they can recover mentally