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Behaviour/development

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Struggling with 3year olds behaviour

2 replies

daydreamer2020 · 02/11/2024 06:50

So bit of background my DS turned three in July. He always been stubborn and constantly asks for snacks even if he’s just eaten. Since he’s turned three his behaviour is almost unmanageable. He has full blown screaming fits if he doesn’t get what he wants. Recently he’s taken to slapping, scratching or biting us if we stay firm with boundaries. I try give him choices. Like he woke up through the night and wanted to go play in his brothers room. I told him he couldnt but he could either stay in his room or come in to mummy and daddy’s. He chose his room but EVERY time I placed him in his room he screamed and lashed out even though he kept making that choose. Brought him in our room and he screamed even more. He will do this at all times if the day. I’ll give him a choice, he’ll choose and then kick off. I’m honestly struggling so much we never shout and try talk him down but he just reacts by hitting us.

I just feel like I’ve failed him because everyday there’s a massive tantrum which leads to him so upset. And us too

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NuffSaidSam · 03/11/2024 11:51

If giving him choices isn't working then I'd cut back on that for the time being. It seems like he's not developmentally there yet. Instead, tell him clearly what is going to happen and stick to it. Introducing visual cues could be helpful if you think his language is a problem.

Pick your battles, but hold your boundaries.

Look for anything that is triggering this behaviour tired/hungry/thirsty/needs the toilet/bored/anxious/stressed/overwhelmed...there's often something underlying extreme tantrums.

When he's calm (not during or immediately after a tantrum) introduce copying techniques like moving to a calm down area/counting to ten/sharing your feelings/playing with a fidget toy or comfort toy. You can role play this with toys/teddies and also model it yourself.

With the tantrums, there's not much more you can do...just stay calm, comfort him, keep him and yourself safe when he lashes out.

c307 · 03/11/2024 22:45

Following this as sounds very similar to my son.

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