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Baby who wants to sleep whilst being held - should I try to break this habit?

29 replies

Sariska · 24/04/2008 22:41

My ds is 5 weeks old and really only wants to sleep if someone is holding him. I can - just about - cope with this during the day (although showering and making lunch are often well nigh impossible if I am by myself) but the nights are really getting to me. Sometimes - usually by making him as milk drunk as it's possible to be - I can get him fast asleep enough to put in his bed but usually he wakes up the instant I put him in. He then doesn't just grizzle but very quickly moves into hysterical screaming and unless comforted by the breast he can scream for hours. I have tried various things (warming his bed before he goes into it; wearing him in a sling and transferring him and the sling into bed; singing; rocking; patting...) but nothing works. I am now trying another tactic: putting him in bed and then picking him up and comforting him when he cries before putting him straight back. According to the Baby Whisperer this method should take three days to achieve success with a baby of his age. Needless to say I've spent longer trying it although I perhaps haven't been as religious about it as necessary. Should I keep trying or should I just concentrate on devising coping methods in the hope that he will grow out of this behaviour? Incidentally, he dislikes his pram almost as much as his bed and really only settles in an upright baby carrier. I plan to take him to a cranial osteopath as, although it was not an instrumental delivery, my labour was very long as he turned OP towards transition. Sorry for the length of this post but thoughts and opinions are very much welcomed!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Ebb · 25/04/2008 14:50

Have you tried swaddling him? Babies like to feel warm and secure.

meimango · 25/04/2008 16:23

I was in your position and reading BW when LO was 4 weeks! Spent about 2 weeks working with it but afraid it didn't work for me. If its the same with you, please read or get someone to read to you parts of Dr Sear's Baby Sleep Book. Got it from the library yesterday, and I just finished reading it. Gulped it down. I'm 2 months down the line from you and I wish i'd read it earlier. My LO eventually was able to sleep beside me, rather than on me at around 8 weeks(though we sometimes still have wobbles). I went to a cranio-sacral therapist at 6 weeks (i don't think thats the same as a cranial osteopath) as lo was breech cs, and therapy didn't do much for the baby - but it was good to have someone to talk to about some of my birth issues. Good luck with osteopath as i hear fab things about them. HTH

lilimama · 25/04/2008 17:28

1 trip to cranio sacral therapist totally changed our lives. we didnt co sleep as we didn't find it a restful night for any of us even tho we had planned to, just kept him really close and after the therapy session the incessant crying gradually stopped over about 5-7 days. the therapist helped me to understand that over consoling baby with a whole lot of "there there" etc was like taking away his need to express and diminishing my capacity to truly listen and support. he showed me how and where to use my hands and voice during crying fits and i soon saw how they always peaked and then passed, as long as i didn't chop and change, trying this and that. after about a week life with now 16 week DS totally changed for the better.
Contrary to others on here, I got some really useful tips from books. As long as I didn't try to find any one system to latch onto, and just stayed open for things that resonated with me and our lifestyle etc (balance between keeping baby happy and keeping ourselves happy and sane) then the collecting of information worked really well for us
Good luck with yours and hope you get some helpful tips on here.

twinkleymum · 25/04/2008 18:47

If he likes to be upright and cries when lying down, have you thought about silent reflux? I've read about it on mumsnet posts, it could be that he is uncomfortable when lying flat. Just a thought.

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