Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Son can't 'read the room'.

1 reply

CheekyEagle · 22/10/2024 17:48

I never thought I'd be asking for advice but here goes... DS has just joined a new school after a horrible yr of bullying at the previous. He is back with some of the same children he went to infants with so was hoping he'd be OK. (He has always struggled with 'reading the room' so to speak on how to behave correctly in friendships). He is becoming very upset on why one minute he has friends, the next they don't want to play or talk to him. The school have reported that there have been incidences in the playground (pushing off equipment, following said group of friends around when they don't want him to) yet he reports they 'act like him' which makes him upset and when they walk away he just wants to join them to be friends. He just wants friends! We know he has a growth delay of 2 yrs which has affected his emotional development but obvs the other children do not know this.

I'm now unsure on what to do to help him or how to deal with this. We have spoken about correct behaviours and language which he's says he understands but goes back to previous behaviours. He also doesn't drop things... if something not nice has happened... its remembered for weeks and focused on! Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
Jimmyneutronsforehead · 22/10/2024 18:00

Aw that little love!

Have you talked to the schools senco about any turn taking activities they can implement as part of his daily routine?

My own son does music therapy where in the small group they take out of the class they practice taking turns with beats and claps, as well as songs and rhymes and they set him small goals at first like waiting 30 seconds, then 2 minutes, then 5 minutes and so on. This has really helped him with the delaying gratification issues he struggled with previously.

It's also really helped him have a circle of friends, because it has been adult organised play based education so the other children have seen his development and the modelled behaviour by other adults to replicate. Things like "stand back please" and "can I have some space please".

It sounds like he's got a really strong sense of justice too, and might need help regulating his emotions but might not be developmentally ready to understand the premise of "do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy".

Our school has got a social, communication and interaction worker that comes and reviews his SCI plan every few months, and they're really good at putting the foundation steps down in a way that's motivational to your child. It might just be that they have to schedule time in the day to talk about what's worrying him, or give him a card to give to a teacher when he needs to have some worry time to air off at an adult who can then manage some coregulation techniques with him.

I hope they can implement something for him. He sounds lovely, just very misunderstood and highly deserving of friends.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page