Bad behaviour help

[Applesandbananaz]

My son loves extra curricular activities and loves taking part in a range of things. But at two of his activities he is really distracted and disruptive. In particular, at tennis on a Saturday morning he does not listen to the adults in charge and therefore barely knows what is going on. As a result they are disinterested in him, and he is now left with the much younger children whilst most of his peers are playing together.

What should I do? Should I just stop taking him as a result of his inability to listen? It's really infuriating and despite reminders from me, his behaviour isn't changing

How is he at home and school? Does he focus usually?

Lovely at home and top 10% of the class with no behaviour issues at school. But a number of his classmates have SEND and need but don't necessarily get extra support, so I think the class is quite a handful.

The expectations at tennis are very high and my son doesn't seem to realise that he is alone in being silly, and that even the 3 year olds are focusing more than him

And there's no concerns about his hearing?

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No - he had glue ear as a baby/toddler but has grown out of it. Most recent hearing tests have been all fine. But the behaviour that he exhibited as a toddler seems to have remained! I feel like 6 going on 7 is now too old to be easily distracted/not listening to instructions.

The sessions themselves are fun and varied and 95% of the other children are engaged and listening. This lack of listening when authority figures are speaking has also been flagged up at Beavers this year too. He is on a final warning (from me not the leaders as they are very nice) at that setting and has been respectful ever since.

I am a teacher and find this sort of behaviour very triggering and am at a loss with how to deal with it. Any ideas?

It’s interesting he does lots but acts out at 2 of them. Perhaps he doesn’t really like those two activities so you could talk to him about stopping them but in a no judgment way (ie not a ‘because you are naughty we’re stopping’ but a ‘I’ve noticed you perhaps aren’t enjoying this as much as you were before, shall we have a break and go for a walk or do xyz at that time instead’). I remember my parents taking my brother to cricket at that age and he would loll about or play on the grass rather than participating even though he was sporty in other respects. Turns out he just simply didn’t enjoy playing it!

How many does he do altogether? Personally I think 2 a week is enough. But if he misbehaves at 2 he obviously does more than that. How old is he?

I would personally cut the 2 he doesn't behave at out. He doesn't want to do it so why put yourself through it?