Looking for any views on my youngest boys behaviour…we are at the end of our tether with it and not sure what to try next. I’m not sure if it is developmentally normally or if there is something else going on.
He is a funny, loving, bright little boy but he is constantly whining, stropping, having tantrums, demanding things, trying to bribe me. He won’t get dressed on his own, do his teeth, find any item of clothing, pick up any toys or do anything asked of him (ie if he unrwaps something and I ask him to put the wrapper in the bin he won’t). In the mornings I end up having to do everything for him as am often on my own with all the kids and run out of time before we have to leave for school; when my partner is around he forces him to do things like getting dressed and brushing teeth but usually ends up shouting at him as he loses his patience trying all the gentle parenting tactics - they just don’t work.
He is meant to stay in bed until the sun on his grow clock comes on at 6:30. We have been trying to get him to do this for about two years but it’s not sinking in, which means he is often up much earlier (like 5:30am) and cranky by the time we are leaving for school. Generally I am woken up by him coming into our room demanding tv. We literally have never had the tv on in the mornings before school ever before, yet every morning he demands it and then has a tantrum on the floor when I say no. I can’t wake up like this any more, it’s causing me anxiety. Then the whole morning is more demands and more tantrums when I say no - things like he wants sweets for breakfast, he wants the play date organised for the next day to be today instead, he doesn’t like anything I say he can have for breakfast, etc etc.
The only time he seems happy and regulated is when he is either watching TV or playing on the Switch. He is allowed to do these things on Fridays after school, and on Saturday and Sunday mornings for a couple of hours. We also do family films on a sat / sun night.
I can’t work out what his behaviour looks like. His elder brother is starting assesment for ADHD, which I likely have as well. However my five year olds behaviour is much less hyperactive than his brothers. He can sit through a meal without jumping up, and isn’t super energetic and wanting to do lots of sports like his brother. He does find it hard waiting his turn to talk, and often has a meltdown if I ask him to wait until his sibling has finished talking for example as he says he’s now forgotten what he was going to say.
Should I push for an evaluation though the school? Are there any ways I can get a professional opinion of whether he needs evaluating? Do some kids just not do well with gentle parenting and need a more old fashioned approach?! I literally do not know what to do with him anymore, and it’s affecting the mood within the house. I am worried that he never seems happy, and what this will look like for his mental health going forward