Hi! I just needed somewhere to vent.
I have a 2.5 year old but am now pregnant with our second.
My first was a very hard baby. Colic from 2 weeks until about 4 months where she screamed from 8pm to about 2/3am Non-stop regardless what we did and would frequently take hours to settle again at night once being fed. Interestingly she slept a lot better in the day time but had issues of bottle/feed aversion, screaming during feeds and awful reflux again for the first 4-5months. She was hard to settle after feeds too and it would be quite the scene when feeding her in public.
All of this together meant that when she was sleeping in the day, that's the only time I'd also get sleep so was maybe a little OTT with trying to get everyone to be quiet in the house when she was asleep in the day because I needed the sleep! (I did pretty much all the night feeds) She is still a very strong willed child and difficult to 'control' for lack of a better word.
Now my brother and his partner have just had their first. About 1 month old and seems to be a dream. Feeds well, just sleeps most of the day which means they can easily go out and go to meals etc which we were never able to with all the screaming and issues with feeding etc.
My husband made the comment to my parents when we were out for a meal how it would've been a dream to have a baby like that and so much easier. Then my dad basically said 'this is what happens when you're loud from the get go and not making sure you're quiet when baby sleeps, they get used to it and just sleep when you're out too!' Pretty much implying it's our fault our first was so hard work, blaming me / us for the colic?! I honestly don't think he thinks colic or all the things we struggled with were real and blame it on our parenting, especially as apparently myself and my siblings were golden babies and slept through from 6 weeks and always perfectly behaved, unlike my strong willed little one. I am just so mad!