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Aggression towards by DS (Sorry Long)

8 replies

bess1 · 22/04/2008 18:25

My DS is 4 yrs old and is in Reception, there is a boy in the class who he was friends with, who is aggressive, and is always pushing other children and kicking, spitting etc. This boy has decided he isn't friends anymore and this has upset DS, however, over the last few months, DS has made new friends and tries to avoid this boy. However, the boy in question seems to lash out at DS whenever he gets the opportunity but with a smile. His Mum thinks and I quote "there is something wrong with him, as he bites me often, but it's the schools job to sort it, not mine, as long as he doesn't punch anyone it's okay", she has very different attitudes towards parenting to me, as I find all kinds of aggression unacceptable. I understand boys can be boisterous but this is mean, everytime he sees DS he shouts "I hate you" or other insults. I have spoken to the mother and she has apologised, have spoken to school and they are monitoring it, and trying to keep them apart, but a breaktimes it seems that the problem continues. Whilst I was helping out at school this morning, I was looking through the window and I saw boy kicking DS for no reason and getting no reprimand or anything as it went unnoticed by teachers/assistants as it was at breaktime. I don't want school to think I am always raising this but the situation has been going on for 7 months now and doesn't seem to be improving, DS is saying I try to stay away from him but if I'm nice to him he won't hurt me, which I hate to hear, the mother of this boy is quite scary, so that's a whole other issue. Suggestions how deal with this anyone please.

OP posts:
frazzledbutcalm · 22/04/2008 19:00

Keep pushing at the school - simple as that, it must be done.
Similar situation in our school, turns out the boy had reactions to food additives etc. Once behaviour looked into and reason discovered he changed completely!! his mum was so thankful for school taking bad behaviour seriously as it led to son being 'looked at properly' and cause found.
May not be the case every time but behaviour should be dealt with and school should do that if its happening there. Mum should also do this at home .....

meglet · 22/04/2008 19:01

at other mothers attitude.

I only have an 18mo myself but think I would speak to the school again. Have you spoken to the head or just your DS's teacher? I'd guess the head might be in a better position to help.

BetteNoire · 22/04/2008 19:04

School must work harder to keep your child safe.

The mother of the other boy may be terrified that his behaviour is indicative of other problems, so she may be brushing them off to anyone who mentions them to her, but be worried inside.

You shouldn't have to deal with the other mother anyway - school need to get this sorted.

bess1 · 22/04/2008 19:56

Thanks for advice all, the mother has mentioned that she took son to doctors when 3 because of behaviour attacking smaller brother and sisters and the doctors suspected that it could be food allergy related or perhaps ADHD and they wanted to start investigations, but she "couldn't be bothered with all that"! I rest my case. I will perservere with the school and arrange a meeting including the head next week. Thanks again.

OP posts:
avenanap · 22/04/2008 20:01

Have you tried teaching your son to shout at the top of his voice "YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING THAT TO ME. IT'S WRONG". This should get the teachers attention.

The mum sounds crap. She could do with shouting at aswell.

frazzledbutcalm · 23/04/2008 20:05

What a great idea avenanap!

bess1 · 24/04/2008 11:53

Spoke to teacher and headmistress again, they have spoken to the boy in question and also the mother, who is now filled with rage, our paths crossed at Kids Karate last night, let's hope this is the end of the matter, fingers crossed, finding the whole situation horrid. Thanks for all the tips and support.

OP posts:
frazzledbutcalm · 24/04/2008 17:52

Good luck bess.

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