My 4.5 year old DD has become SO challenging recently. Its causing me a huge amount of stress and really affecting my mood as she dominates the house. Outside of home she is fine. Okay so for context I have long wondered whether she could be ASD ADHD. She still uses a doodie at home and for bedtime. She is very attached to it. She still uses a nappy for her poos. Getting her to do wees in the toilet was a long stressful process. She eats very limited amount of food. No vegetables no meats. Definitely lots of sensory issues.
So anyway her new thing is to scream at the top of her lungs if she doesn't get something she has asked for or if you don't do exactly what she wants you to do. Our whole lives including my 2.5 year old DD life is shaped around our 4 year old.
She insists on having daddy puts her to bed every night and if not it's a huge meltdown. It's putting a huge pressure on my partner. She has specific routines that have to be followed everyday. It causes her a huge amount of distress if they are changed.
She will demand us to do things for her that she is well able to do herself. For instance if she drops something on the floor she demands that one of us pick it up for her.....she won't wear a coat if she doesnt want to, she won't have her hair tied up, if she doesn't want a bath there's no convincing her.
Is this just a case of bad parenting by me or could she be on the spectrum and her need from control comes from this? Anybody relate? The screaming is really really stressful and hard to deal with. Please any any help at all as I really need it.