4 year old challenging behaviour

[Floam6]

My 4 year olds behaviour has recently become much more testing...lots of not listening, pushing boundaries, being too tough and sometimes her younger sibling etc. We try to be firm and take her for time out etc, but also give her lots of cuddles and talk and try to explain why it's important she listens, doesn't hurt her younger sibling etc. She has just started school, and a friend who I bumped into earlier when feeling slightly tearful and exhausted said it's quite common for them to do this when they first start school (she used to be a teacher). I don't know if she was just trying to make me feel better but does anyone know if this is true? Any advice on how to handle it would be really appreciated as we are doing our best but I worry incase we are handling it wrongly. Thanks

Could she just be absolutely exhausted OP? My usual advice for parents of new school starters is try and give them some early nights in bed and keep things quiet at the weekend for a while. They need time to process and relax.

Thanks @PolaroidPrincess yes I have wondered about that. She sleeps terribly (not sure if that would support that theory or go against it) and often wakes up in the middle of the night. It's as if she doesn't need much sleep. She's wide awake for hours which is killing us as a family as we're all exhausted and I spend a lot of the latter part of the night in her single bed (am pushing my hubby to agree to getting her a double as I can't do it much longer).

OP my DD is same age and also just started school, so much of what you said resonates with me! We also had the bad behaviour leading up to starting school, I think she is dealing with big feelings around the whole situation and learning a new routine. She’s absolutely fine at school but she’s offloads on us at home. We are trying early nights, reward charts and loads of praise for good things she does at home and school and it’s helping. I do think it’s very common, it’s a big change and they struggle to articulate how they are feeling at this age.

Thanks so much @Squeezetheday. I'm sorry you are going through it too but appreciate the message as it's good to know I'm not alone and her behaviour is possibly quite normal. We will perhaps try reward charts too.

So has she never been a good sleeper then @Floam6? You could try this November Cry Sleep Solution.

If she's never been a good sleeper have you ever been asked to do the Social & Emotional Ages & Stages?