asking for advice about DS 2.9

[kid]

I have finally decided to ask for advice on DS. He has such different moods. When he is good, he is very good. But then we have lots of bad days!

He has such a temper. I really find it hard to ignore his tantrums and usually shout at him rather than smack him. All I ever hear people say when he is having one of his moods is 'X, please!' (as in please stop!)
Yesterday he was an absolute angel, really, really good.
This morning he was really loud, moany and misbehaved constantly.

So, what should I be doing when he shouts at me, tells me he's not my friend, throws things and generally does anything I tell him not to.

DD never had a single tantrum until she was over 3, I guess I was very lucky with her, just thought DS would be the same!

Very frustrating kid, but I would try to relax. all my 3 are very different and yours will be too. Sounds to me like your ds is just in the terrible twos, and I do believe that boys are different to girls, no matter what we might prefer to think. Try not to react when he's having a tantrum... I think a rule of thumb is to ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good. (at least that's what I try to remind myself after I've just blown my top at my kids!)

After I have reacted, I always think maybe I shoudn't have done that. Its always easier after! Also when someone else tells him off (like DH) I can see so clearly what he should say or do! Wonder when these terrible 2's finish then? I heard it was about 5!

I put my toddler (2.5)into Time Out (downstairs loo) and tell her that she can't come out until she is quiet and calm. That way I don't have to listen to her, and she does shut up remarkably quickly.

Perhaps this is an abuse of time out. But hey, it works for me....