Aggressive and tantrum in 4yr old girl

[Emmaaa1990]

Hi guys

Not sure if anyone can offer any advice.
My 4 year old girl seems to be having a lot more tantrums now than she did at 2/3. She's very confident and sassy and trying to be more independent I guess. Saying she doesn't want to go to bed and screaming and shouting about it. She also comes in and out of her room multiple times before settling.

Another thing she seems to become frustrated easily and hits herself or sometimes me. I'm not sure if it's an attention thing or she can't fully express herself so it comes out in aggression.

She speaks really well and clearly so I know she could talk about it but it's like she becomes overwhelmed with emotion. Bedtimes are so stressful it's like a fight we are calm to an extent then end up having to shout because she's not listening to the calm. It makes bedtime horrible for everyone and it's not a nice way to end the day.

This has been going on a few months now and it's so hard to manage. She has just started school so that's a whole new routine so I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but she was like this before school too.

It's hard to know if this is typical behaviour or if I need to speak to a doctor. Can anyone relate? Any advice appreciated.

I completely share your pain on this one. I came on to mums net to search for this today and couldn't of found a better thread! My 4 year old daughter has become a nightmare since starting school, tantrums more often and more intense, hitting and kicking, sometimes bites herself. She has also stopped sleeping through the night which is causing chaos for all of us. I do think maybe it's due to her acclimatising to school, but she did 30 hour weeks at nursery for a full school year before reception. I dont have any advice but you are not alone. Xxx

@Ajt34 oh my goodness it's draining isn't it! I feel like all I do is tell her off and she knows what she is doing 🙈 I wonder if school will help in the coming weeks it's hard cos they are going through a lot aren't they but my god is it difficult for us!

Your little girl sounds exactly like mine with all the aggression the biting too she sometimes does. I don't understand it, I thought their behaviour improve after 2/3 not get worse!

Just had another bed time battle with her pulling all her covers off screaming and then saying she didn't want her room to be dark! It's literally all to get us back in her room. It's tiresome!

I don't know about you but it does make me feel better knowing that other people are going through the same! So Thankyou for replying and making me feel not so alone! Xx

Anyone got any advice please?