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4 year old hitting at reception please help

2 replies

rose9826 · 16/09/2024 18:16

My sons 4, 5 in the new year and has just started reception. He went to the school nursery for 2 years so is used to being around other kids.

Twice now since he started the teacher has said he's not been kind at school, he's been hitting, pushing, being a wind up etc to his classmates.

He is a handful, doesn't listen most of the time and it's in his nature to be a wind up sometimes, but when in nursery they never said he was hitting kids etc, he'd have his moments of anger but nothing crazy. I do suspect ADHD and have started the process of trying to get diagnosed.

I just don't know how to deal with it, Ive sat and talked to him about his behaviour, how it's bad and he needs to make better choices and be nice, use kind hands etc and he agrees, and I've told him he can't go to the park or play roblox until he starts behaving and being nice at school and home. (those are his two favourite things to do at the moment)

But then 5 minutes later he asks to do these things and starts screaming when I say no, like he's forgotten everything I've said /didn't listen or understand in the first place! Hes asking me and his dad every 5 minutes even though he knows the answer is no.

I'm so frustrated I don't know how to deal with it.

He absolutely loves school and is so excited to go in everyday so I don't understand why he's acting this way when he's there. He generally doesn't hit at home unless a sibling hits him first or he's extremely wound up/angry or upset but it's rare.

Anyone been through this and managed to stop the behaviour? I'm so worried that they are going to put him on a reduced timetable and that he'll end up with no friends

I just knew him starting full time school would be such an awful stressful experience 😔

OP posts:
Pantaloons99 · 16/09/2024 18:24

Don't give up pursuing the diagnosis; it's incredibly important, I can't stress this enough.

Ask to speak to the school SENCO and class teacher. Have a meeting. Explain that you believe child is ADHD, maybe more. Ask how they will be able to support him as he adjusts to school and as you wait assessment.

You may have to go private. I did.

There's a book called the Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It's a bit much to adopt his advice every day but the general gist is good. Basically, offering choice is absolutely essential. So, do you want to brush teeth now or in 5 minutes? Use this approach for everything.

Maybe join an FB ADHD parents group. Lots of advice and solidarity.

He'll settle down. Things improve as gets older. It can be difficult with other parents but there are so so many ADHD and Autistic kids in school that don't always appear different. They tend to gravitate towards each other and you'll feel less isolated.

PolaroidPrincess · 17/09/2024 07:39

As well as the Explosive Child you might the SN Children section on MN useful.

Mine didn't hit but we've had other issues. I've always found their behaviour to be much worse on the s DTs when they've gamed, so I'd maybe try leaving that just for the weekend?

Your local library might have some books that you could read with him about anger and hitting too Flowers

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