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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nightmare supermarket trip - Did I handle this right??

16 replies

LEMONADEGIRL · 18/04/2008 12:17

ds is 18 mths and is stepping up on the toddler behaviour.

Just got back from the supermarket, ds was sat in the front of trolley, usually he is okay apart from the usual bordeom towards the end. Today however; everytime I went near to a shelf he was trying to knock and pull stuff off the shelves. He then was trying to throw things out of trolley. He then started hitting me. Am tiny so this was aimed mostly towards my head

So I dealt with this by firm, 'no we do not hit in stern voice' He then seemed to find it hugely amusing and kept on doing it whre I tried variuos tones, holding his hand firmly, distraction with a toy had out in trolley. It was really busy felt as though everyone was staring at me. Now I know I shouldnt care really but he just kept on and on. So tried a cuddle and kiss for different tactic and he was trying to dig his fingers around my mouth.

I am sure it will get worse have ahd stories from friends regarding their ds/dd

Should i have jsut ignored the behaviour was I making it worse that everytime he hit I told him 'no'?

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JODIEhavingababy · 18/04/2008 12:23

It's really difficult isn't it! My DS is 19 months and he used to love the supermarket! I would say to ignore any 'negative' behaviour, but when you are pt in public it's difficult to not show others that you are telling him off for being naughty! He was obviously enjoying getting a reaction out of you, I know mine does!

My best advice is to do all of your shopping on the internet and you can MN at the same time

whomovedmychocolate · 18/04/2008 12:26

DD is 18 months, when she goes into a full on strop in Sainsburys I push the trolley to customer services, leave it there and go sit in the car with her for ten minutes till she's calmed down. I've only had to do it twice. Now she knows if she is a little bugger it will only get her a trip to the car which is really boring.

Having said we do steer down the middle of every aisle and she still nicks stuff from other trolleys and puts it in ours (and vice versa) a poor chap the other day got a packet of nipple cream thrust into his and he walked off before I got a chance to swipe it back

Original poster

LEMONADEGIRL · 18/04/2008 12:35

Thats so true, I was keenly aware that others were watching him hit etc I felt as though had to say something as do not want to appear as though I condone the behaviour.

I did use to do internet shopping may have to resort back to it. Would loved to have seen the face of that poor man

OP posts:

JODIEhavingababy · 18/04/2008 12:37

ahh whomovedmychocolate I wonder if that poor man noticed when he got to the check out, or when he got home!!! te he he..

whomovedmychocolate · 18/04/2008 12:41

Dunno, she chucked six packets of condoms into an old ladies basket the other day in Boots. Now that would have given her husband a shock when she got home, she was at least 80!

BTW lemonadegirl - whenever I see someone who has a squally toddler I always feel enormous admiration for them - they always seem so much more calm than I would be in the circumstances.

It's bloody hard at the best of times and they all go through this - I don't know anyone who has raised a child who will not give a wry smile and be thankful they have passed through that bit without marmelising their offspring. So it's not judgement, it's empathy and also sometimes it's quite funny when they do throw stuff (sorry but it can be hilarious - DD managed to open the milk and poured it all over her head and I couldn't do a thing to help being I was pissing myself at her surprised wet face!)

eidsvold · 18/04/2008 12:43

I think it is the mantra - you know - no we do not do this, trying distraction etc. Sometimes it works sometimes it is just one of those days.

Jodie - I have picture of an elderly lady asking her dh (I know you did not say the man was elderly) why he bought her nipple cream when she asked for denture cream!!!

Miaou · 18/04/2008 12:43

rofl, I misread that as you push the trolley to customer services, leave dd in it there, and go and sit in the car by yourself for ten minutes ! Er, maybe not then !

eidsvold · 18/04/2008 12:44

oops I should have addressed that second part to who moved my choc.

I bet the 80yo was pleased someone still thought

A) they might need contraception
B) that at 80 she still had an active sex life!!!

eidsvold · 18/04/2008 12:45

so did I miaou at first Thought what a plan - should try that next time. Then I read on.

ruddynorah · 18/04/2008 12:46

trick for me is to keep dd busy. different now she's older anyway but at that age i'd make sure she had a snack to keep her quiet. and get her to help me look for things, put things in the trolley, make her be 'in charge' of something, like an orange or whatever. basically just distraction so they don't think about playing up.

other than that...shop online

whomovedmychocolate · 18/04/2008 12:48

Oh yes and we have a fireman sam who fits in the scanner attachment for the trolley and can be poked to make him pop out when she's getting grumpy - it never fails to make her laugh. That works too.

I did look longingly at the trolley stow cupboards by the cafe the other day when she was being particularly annoying though

boobiestoosaggy · 18/04/2008 13:11

do your weekly shop online its the best!!!!!!!!!

Weegle · 18/04/2008 13:22

internet shopping is my saviour
for the odd short supermarket trip DS goes in the trolley seat and is given responsibility for one item. If he's naughty I get down to his level and firmly tell him no and remind him of whatever bribe I have e.g. if good we go to park, or have a snack, or whatever it might be.

I have had one trip where he was a blighter so I just pulled the trolley from the front so I had my back to him until he calmed down. I have a thick skin though and don't give a hoot what people think. Interestingly though DS hasn't done it since - wonder if he figured that was the most boring and uneventful shopping trip as he got zero reaction, who knows?!

Mamazon · 18/04/2008 13:27

Ignore ignore ignore.
If he hist or kicks turn the trolley around and push it backwards its slightly more difficult but he will soon stop hitting out.

no eye contact, no attention by telling him no...just ignore ignore ignore.

Original poster

LEMONADEGIRL · 18/04/2008 18:33

thanks all

great idea re turning trolley around ds hates to be ignored.

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mammabelleboo · 18/04/2008 18:50

My dd is a bit of a nightmare on shopping trips now she is 2+ and really knows her own mind - so on big shopping trips, I tend to do one big monthly shop - we leave her at nannies and do it on our own! Much less stressful!
She is Ok on smaller trips where I can whip round quickly - I give her a carton of drink & some of those yog coated fruit flakes to eat - there are so many in the packet they usually last most of the way round the shop!

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