DD (4 almost 5) has had quite challenging behaviour since she hit around 3.5 years old. she lashes out a lot, hits, kicks, scratches (usually only towards me), shouts, screams, and the latest is spitting at me. Usually this is triggered by being asked to do or not to do something like getting ready for bed or dressed in the morning for example or to stop grabbing her sibling. She finished nursery at the end of June, started school 3 weeks ago and since June it feels like it's been constant, melt downs and tantrums/lashing out has become a daily occurrence.
Of course starting school is a massive adjustment so I've done everything I could think of to try and make that transition easier for her and fully expected her to be more emotional until she had settled in.
I'm really struggling with being the target of her lashing out though, nothing I have tried works and I just don't know where to go from here, I am at breaking point with it. Sometimes she will kick or hit me out of the blue, this morning for example she kicked me in the back because I had my back to her while sitting on the sofa and she didn't want me to sit there. When she does this I explain to her that we don't hit/kick people as it hurts and she gets put on time out but she just finds it hilarious and turns it into a carry on, I can spend 10-15 minutes sitting her back down before she is calm enough to have a conversation with. I've tried just telling her I won't let her do that to me and walking away but she follows and continues, if I physically try to stop her by putting my arm out etc the behaviour just escalates. I've tried redirecting her for example hitting a cushion instead. Everything is a game/hilarious to her. I just don't know where to go from here, I feel like I'm treading on eggshells and counting down to the next meltdown. Help.