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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Tantrums in cot...

5 replies

HereComeTheGirls · 16/04/2008 21:51

My 18 mo old DD has been waking up screaming in cot. We thought she must be in awful pain from teeth or her tummy (she is just getting over a nasty stomach bug) but it has become increasingly clear that her screams are screams of rage that abate when she is picked up and cuddled or given something to play with and start again as soon as the toy is taken away or she is put back in cot, or the light is put off in her room.

Her eye teeth have all come through now so it isn't teeth as her molars won't come in for a while. And we thought she had painful wind but it seems the wind just results from crying.

She has been getting lots of cuddles and attention while sick and is also much more clingy and stroppy during day now since she is better.

We are scared to leave her to cry in cotas she tends to work herself up so much that she will throw up within about 1 minute, so am not sure controlled crying would help, but we don't want to keep reinforcing the behaviour by always picking her up or giving her things to stop her crying. This can't go on though, we are all frazzled, and she is not happy!!

TIA - any advice/hope gratefully received!!

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gagarin · 17/04/2008 08:53

MIne threw up with rage regularly - I just wiped them down in the cot and said "night night" again leaving a crescendo of fury behind me as I left the room .

She wants you to pick her up. She wants you to do exactly what she wants - she's working the world out and at the moment prob thinks what she wants is what she gets if she screams loud enough.

Make sure you don't inadvertantly encourage the behaviour you don't want - remember in beaviour terms "what you pay attention to is what you get more of"

HereComeTheGirls · 17/04/2008 09:02

Thanks...it is complicated now by the fact I thought I was doing well to tell her it was bedtime and leave her in cot as much as I could last night but she turned out to be hungry (after having a big plate of macaroni cheese and a whole bottle of milk an hour before!) - she is catching up after not eating for a week with this bug. But it definitely wasn't hunger the night before or the night before that!!

I will be strong, it helps to know there are others going through this. I am just SUCH a softie!!!!

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HereComeTheGirls · 17/04/2008 09:03

We were giving her exciting things to look at to distract her and stop her crying...hmm...maybe that was not such a good idea in retrospect

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gagarin · 17/04/2008 09:07

Prob not - but when she's in a rage and you're both wrecked how can every decision be a good one!?

My LO very quickly learnt that nothing worked - apart from "I'm hungry" (she was thin and a terrible eater) - and so you would have witnessed some ludicrous moments of 2am yoghurt feedings which I can't believe we ever fell for!

HereComeTheGirls · 17/04/2008 09:09

Will have to watch for that one now! I think she WAS genuinely hungry last night as she ravenously drank a whole bottle of milk and then went to sleep like a lamb, but I don't want this to become a habit!!

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