How do I deal with 20 month old DD1 lashing out, scratching and pinching when she doesn't want to be picked up, etc

[josben]

I currently have 2 scratches on my face and neck and she seems to be getting increasingly rough and aggressive...

She can be really lovely and is a smiley, easy going baby who rarely cries but she seems to have this temper that I don't know how to control... Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this behaviour?

Why are you picking her up?

Well this morning I carried her from the car to my Mums and and handed her over as she had no shoes on, and she lashed out then. Or if I need to take her out of a room because her brothers are playing with lego or something - I would pick her up then...

Distract her with a toy and lots of "oooooooooh, where's that ball, is it in the front? Oh, let's go and find it, oh wowwwww!"

PS you will never be able to control her temper, lose that idea and you'll lose 80% of the angst surrounding parenting. She is hitting the age when she will push, pinch, bite, grab, slap, kick and scratch, tell her no, let her not it's not on, but don't worry aboput it because it's very normal.

It is normal for a child that age to get upset and lash out if they are being picked up against their wishes. You can try talking to her and distracting her but will probably have to pick her up, try to avoid thrashing limbs and as colditz says tell her it's not on to hit out. At this age she won't always respond to you telling her why you are picking her up but she might sometimes and as she gets older she will understand more.
Couldn't you have put her shoes on before she got out of the car or given her the option to be carried and shoes on later...or were you rushing?
If her brothers have got lego has she got any of her own to play with..duplo perhaps? Could you give her her own to play with?

my ds 20mths also hates to be interfered with when his is doing something and kicks me hard in the face when trying to change his nappy. everytime without fail!.
he also without warning comes over to me dh or other 2 kids and bash us in the head,face with his toys or beaker