So, I’m a new dad. Baby is currently seven months. Up until I’d say about a month ago everything seemed usual, hitting milestones, just normal baby stuff. I was in baby bliss.
I then noticed a few behaviours which I’ll list below that caused me to commit the mother of all sins, Google and suddenly we were getting posts about autism in infants left right and centre.
It had never entered my mind before three weeks ago and now I can’t stop reading everything on it and the truth is everything is just making me panic more. I guess it’s worrying me whether or not to look into it now or wait a little longer. It seems all baby behaviours can be a “red flag” but also with no experience and mounting anxiety I’m not sure what to do because the signs are there.
The behaviours I noticed are: He loves to flick everything. Just raking his four fingers as if probing the texture. This was what started this descent into the forums and videos. He does makes eye contact a little but not up close and not for extended time. There’s no adorning gazing into one another’s eyes. It’s more like study than love. He also seems very shy. If he hasnt seen me that day and then does he will smile and then bury his head as if coy (it is adorable) or turn away. He’s a smiley baby in some ways, but I’d say they’re all reactions to stimulus rather than say smiling because I smile. His grandad noted he’s very serious. Though I will say he is happy. He does laugh but again more stimulus than social stuff; tickles, silly faces, things like that. He was babbling up until around six months but not much and now he is very quiet. He’s started raspberrying a little bit again and trying to make sounds but it’s almost if they’re trapped and he abandons them as soon as tries them. He used to squeal with joy in the jumperoo and the bath but that has lessened. He mmms a lot opposed to other sounds, it feels like frustration. Oh and he loves to be held and bounced but hates being on the floor. He has loved being held to stand up since pretty much birth. I’d also say he’s not “engaged” much, he looks at the world but it’s almost passive. Not socially engaged either. People, nah, not for him. Doesn’t even look sometimes. Again he will smile at people he knows but at a distance usually and he will not respond to name calling but will, for example, dart to look at me if I say the name of his favourite toy (maybe I should call him that instead) he will look to sounds but if he has something in his hand, maybe not. He has started clapping when we say clap this week so there is some learning mimicking. He loves to flick the tags. For a few weeks I thought he was just preoccupied with other development but it’s been about 4-5 now and well, you can’t turn those intrusive thoughts off can you.
I don’t know. It does sound like a baby doesn’t it. But, honestly, when I observe him, I wouldn’t say he’s a “typical” (forgive the term) infant and his social skills seem low. Which is a MAD thing to write about a seven month old (I see it). I know that I should just be present and enjoying this period but the anxiety it’s building is maddening and I don’t want to upset my partner and force a talk too early and steal away her relationship or joy with him this young. I’ve already been sternly told to stop with this stuff and I really think she’s right but the grey matter up top is like “actually let’s think about this until 4am”.
Maybe I just needed to write this down. But any advice, words of similar situations and how they played, insights or reassurance, would be helpful if only to quieten the noise inside. Don’t sugar coat anything though. Honesty is appreciated.
He’s loved. He brings joy. He’s cursed with an overthinking father. Thanks if you read this. Please tell me I’m overreacting (or not). But please if you have time to reply you will be doing me a service so I don’t feel like I’m shouting into the dark. Thank you.