Worried about my 3yr old

[mumwithallthebooks]

My 3yr old is a lovely boy - very gregarious, outgoing and good fun. He loves making people laugh. However his behaviour can also be challenging. When he has a tantrum/meltdown, he bites and scratches and I worry constantly about him not listening/running off when we are around cars. I'm beginning to feel inept as a parent as not had these difficulties with previous children. He has a different personality - much more strong-willed perhaps - than his siblings and I am starting to question my parenting ability and second guess myself. Being firm and saying "No we don't bite/ scratch/hit" or "I won't allow you to hit me" or trying to move away seems to exacerbate his feelings and he becomes more and more hysterical. At other times, he enjoys being naughty, not listening and pushing the boundary but I worry about cars and his safety when out and about. Can anyone advise?

Not much advice but sympathy in that my son also has a very strong personality and outbursts. Mine also deliberately does naughty things. He's my only one so I just felt like I'm not cut out for being a parent sometimes, until I learned that this isn't the typical experience. Commiserations

Should say mine is also 3.

If he's completely lost control, do you think possibly he needs connection with your and/or your calm presence, so when you move away, it feels scary to him, or like he has no chance of calming down without you? If so, that's a tricky one, how to give him that whilst also protecting yourself. Have you tried something like a tight bear hug, possibly with him facing away from you, given the biting?

DD1 used to like a tight hug and rocking when she was that sort of age and had lost it – but that's a lot easier with a child that's just randomly flailing around, rather than aiming for you.