Hi all,
Looking for some advice or reassurance please as I feel my DS's outbursts are becoming out of control.
For context, DS is 4 years old, he is incredibly intelligent and is my best friend.
There are no developmental concerns but a few things we've noticed (which could be normal):
A) DS is quite outgoing at nursery. However this hasn't always been the case. Our nursery key worker, whos now left, recommended HV involvement as she'd often find DS sitting in corners or small spaces when things were becoming too much. This was never flagged by other staff and nothings been mentioned since key worker left.
B) DS hates loud noises. We worked on this and he was great with them but has now gone backwards. Loud noises result in DS panicking and a full blown meltdown - no rhyme or reason as to why this happened, and cannot stand to be near a leaf blower despite his gardening obsession.
C) DS exposes himself at nursery. We've worked with the nursery on this and it's still a problem. Nursery have found him hiding away with his friends exposing himself and he's fully aware it's not something he should be doing.
The main issue is his outbursts. Today I've cried multiple times from his outburst which stemmed from me asking him not to jump on the bed. I've been hit, kicked, punched, my arms are bruised from bites (8+ bites on each arm), toys thrown at me, bedroom trashed, and him trying to push me down the stairs.
I've tried talking through it, shouting, distracting, loving him, rewarding good behaviour and doubling down on good behaviour = good things, taking away toys and none have helped. His rage feels impossible to break through and today I've had to resort to physically restraining him to reduce the injuries I sustain from his outbursts.
I don't know what to do anymore and I feel like I'm failing as a parent. I love my son dearly but I don't like this version of him.
I've read books, blogs and articles and desperately tried all avenues suggested but haven't had any success.
Just to note, HV did test for autism off the back of the key worker recommendation but stated he was too advanced in development for it to be autism and we wouldn't fit the criteria for a referral so I assume it's not that.
Please help an emotionally drained mum.