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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Still in nappies and uses a dummy at 4

18 replies

Kate161203 · 15/04/2008 14:23

Hi all,

We have a wonderful 4 year old daughter who is really happy and confident.

However we still have her in nappies at night (night routine - toilet after bath/teeth brushing. stopped her night milk recently as she no longer wants it. She sleeps from 7 to 7.)

Her nappy is half full in the morning

Also, once she gets home from Creche she insists on having her dummy which she also uses all night. She will be five in December and will have started school by then.

Any advice on moving her away from all this without being too brutal?

Also is this normal for a 4 1/2 yr old???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

frazzledbutcalm · 15/04/2008 14:33

I don't like the word normal as everyone is so different and develops at different rates. I think its unusual to be in nappies and have a dummy at 4 1/2, but then others could think it absolutely common practice! Its great that your dd is happy and confident! We've recently taken ds dummy off him at 2.10, he asked for it for a few nights then we heard no more mention of it! Mine all asked to have no nappy at bed time at about 2 1/2. We found they were dry without problems even though their nappies used to be wet! You could find she gives both up without fuss or accident. Talk to her and explain what you'd like to try with her.

Original poster

Kate161203 · 15/04/2008 14:41

Thanks for the advice. I will see how it goes and report back!

OP posts:

hoxtonchick · 15/04/2008 14:43

absolutely not abnormal to be in night nappies at 4.5. my nephew is still not reliably dry at night & he's 8.

chocolatespiders · 15/04/2008 14:43

does dd wake in the night at all? if she does you could use this time to take her to the toilet... maybe if she wore a pull up to make it easier....
Night time wetting is quite difficult to overcome ... how do you train someone to wake up to go to the toilet....? very difficult if you ask me,and the medical people dont see night wetting a problem until after the age of 7 so you have time to get it sorted...
DD1 wet the bed til she was 6
dd2 hasnt wet the bed since she was 3, they are all so different

Have you got waterproof sheeting....

with regards to the dummy my dd had hers till she was 4, and gave it up when we went on holiday and i told her we had left it behind, and she was ok in the end... but now sucks her thumb...

talk to dd and she if she wants to try without her nappy.... best of luck

shellye · 15/04/2008 14:44

Hi Kate
My DD wil be 5 in January and has only a couple of months ago come out of nappies at night. A lot of children are not fully dry at night until 5 or even 6, so I shouldn't worry. As for the dummy ,DD did not have one so no help there. Dummies are not good for developing teeth and speech. Tell her the dummy fairy has taken it to a safe place.

juuule · 15/04/2008 14:45

It's been normal for some of my children. My youngest dd(4y9m) is still in nappies at night. 2 of my older children were 5y+ and 9y+ before they were dry at night.

frazzledbutcalm · 15/04/2008 14:50

choc - medical people don't see night wetting as a problem even at 14! dd1 (aged 8) sees a specialist for this prob but also because as soon as she has a drink she needs the loo within 10 mins. Specialist said he wouldn't treat her for night wetting as its not unusual at aged 14! However he is treating her for the daytime side of things. I was advised not to wake at night, the bladder and brain have to just learn to work together and this takes longer in some children.

Original poster

Kate161203 · 15/04/2008 14:53

Thanks for the advice and suggestions. She is such a brilliant character and she is aware that she shouldnt really have them - but its habit.

She is aware of how much wee is in her nappy in the morning and is pleased when its not much - so maybe we are turning the corner!

If we get to a stage of dry nappies in the morning then I'll try taking them away - She has mentioned she would like to wear her pjs without a nappy - but I think its pointless if she wets the bed each night.

Re the dummy - She is definitely conscious of it - but wont go to sleep without it and wakes in the night is its not there.

She occasionally tells us that she doent want it anymore and then a couple of hours later cries for it - and I am such a softie and give in.

I will see how it goes and report back!

OP posts:

Flibbertyjibbet · 15/04/2008 14:53

Nothing is 'normal' or 'not normal' regarding nappies and night times.

However,

After ds1 was dry at night we found that if he had a nappy on at night, he would wee. no nappy, no wee. So we just stopped putting him in them. Had quite a few accidents at first for a couple of weeks and now say once every 3 weeks but nothing major.

If he wets the bed twice in say a week, we pretend to be talking about him and say 'oh I think ds1 needs to have nappies on at night again as he has wet the bed' and sure enough he is dry again for weeks.

On the dummy front, there is no easy way so you might as well go cold turkey.

We didn't use dummies but ds1 had this blanket thing that my mum knitted for his moses basket. He took it with him to cot then bed. Well it got so raggy and scabby, he used to suck it in his sleep URGH!! and it was going all bald, suppose he was swallowing the fibres DOUBLE URGHGG!! So one day I went to wash it as normal but threw it out. We told him the washing machine had eaten it. It was hell for 2 nights, then he was unsettled crying for it at night for another 3 nights or so, then a week of being really unsettled at night and trying to get in with us. After that, nothing. So 10-14 days and he was fine without it.

Flibbertyjibbet · 15/04/2008 14:55

Sorry that should have read

After ds1 was dry daytimes.

(Which was at 2.2yo and we took him out of night nappies at 2.5yo)

bozza · 15/04/2008 15:00

Well DS never had a dry nappy before we took him out of them and wet the bed only a couple of times so I think your logic might be flawed on that one. It is up to you though whether you decide to try her or not. It might be that she is capable of dry nights, but just as easily that she isn't and as others have said not a problem if she is not yet ready.

On the dummy front that sounds like quite a lot of useage and is bad for teeth.

bozza · 15/04/2008 15:00

On the dummy front that sounds like quite a lot of useage and is bad for teeth.

chocolatespiders · 15/04/2008 15:07

in this area they start to let you seeing the nurse if you are concerned and your child is wetting at night from the age of 7... this includes borrowing an alarm to have on the bed.....so they start the process of trying to solve the problem... which i supoose could carry on and on

I suppose everyone is different but i would be concerned if my child was wetting bed at 14.... it would have such an impact on there lives at that age.....

I was just trying to reasure op that it is not unusual in children of her dd's age and older... so i hope i helped...

Sidge · 15/04/2008 15:17

Does she wet if she goes to bed without a nappy? Or have you never tried it?

My eldest never had a dry nappy, so we just bit the bullet and put her to bed without one. She didn't wet the bed. I think before, she would half wake, think "oh I need a wee but I have a nappy on so I'll do it in that". No nappy, no weeing.

I put a potty next to her bed so she didn't have to find the loo in the middle of the night.

(I would also ditch the dummies, personally I think 4.5 is far too old to have a dummy. But that's just me )

stonedout · 15/04/2008 17:59

my dd had dummy til 4yrs and is now 5.5 yrs and is just out of nappies at night.

MsPontipine · 15/04/2008 18:08

Yes I agree take the night nappy off - I was later getting my son out of nappies at night and he used to wake with a pretty heavy one too but we set a date, put it on the calendar, looked forward to it then went for it!! 2 wet beds then none since. Pampers bed mats are good as you can sort of layer shhets with them for speedy removal in the night without a complete change.
Good luck!!

barnstaple · 15/04/2008 18:17

Don't panic. You don't know any 18 year olds who do this. She'll get out of nappies and dummies when she's ready.

paddington99 · 15/04/2008 18:19

Not unusual to be in nappies at night at 4. I agree that the first step is her wanting to stop, so she has the motivation to try.

You could try taking her for a wee when you go to bed. We did this with our son for the best part of a year - a bit of a bind but definitely effective. Didn't avoid wet mornings altogether, but definitely helped.

And dummies - my little boy loved his. We agreed a time when we'd give it up, in our case on a camping holiday when we had plenty of time to spend with him. We threw them in the sea and had a bit of a 'ritual' (they were fished out sneakily so as not to pollute the water!).

I won't lie - night 1 was awful. Pitiful sobbing until about 11pm. Night 2 was about half an hour of crying. Night 3 - asked for dummy but settled within a few minutes. By the end of the week - hardly noticed.

It might help for her to have something else like a blanket or special teddy to 'replace' the dummy.

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