Is it normal for a 4-year-old's behaviour to be getting worse?

[ali912]

I am at my wit's end with my son's behaviour.

He can be so kind and sweet and according to nursery they have never had any issues at all - he behaves beautifully for them and is very polite. But at home he's just a nightmare. Constantly whinging, having meltdowns a lot, extremely defiant. Nothing works!

He's always been quite challenging - he was an unsettled baby and has always seemed more difficult than my friend's children. He got worse at 3 and now 4 has taken it to a whole new level. I'm so fed up. We've spoken to nursery to see if they think he could be autistic but they said there have been zero signs of it there.

I guess my question is: is it normal for a 4-year-old's behaviour to be getting worse? Has anyone had this and then their child became easier again? A lot of our friends found 3 a difficult age but they all seem to have found 4 a big improvement...

Mine's getting worse

I'm so glad you posted this because I've been really pulling my hair out about my (not quite) 4 year old! He doesn't listen, moans CONSTANTLY, meltdowns have become daily.. he starts school in September and I'm so worried! We didn't try to defer a year because he seemed ready last November, but the last 3 months have been dreadful so now I'm afraid he's going to be labelled disruptive! He's ok at preschool like yours, but at home he has no attention span and doesn't hear anything I say to him (like, it's not even ignoring, he just doesn't seem to hear!). No idea what's normal but so many of his little friends seem calmer and more "focused", even the other summerborns.. not necessarily helpful, but at least you're not alone!

My 4 year old was awful, very hard. She got better when she turned 5 but that first term at school was very hard on all of us! She had no emotional regulation until she got a bit older unfortunately.

Yeah my little one went through this, but she came out of it when she turned 6 and now is a very calm child! So don' stress too much!