2yr old yells when baby sis cries

[Momino]

i'm so sick of noise! dd1 (who's in her terrible 2s) has not adjusted well to her little sister's arrival and competes for attention by yelling when dd2 so much as whimpers. It's now become an automatic reaction and I can't take the yelling/crying from both girls. I've tried 1) explaining to dd1 that baby is crying because she's hungry/tired etc and dd1 shouldn't worry, 2) ignoring, 3) sending her for 'time out' in another room each time she yells for no reason. none of this is working. dd2 is 8 months now and dd1 seems to have got louder in her yelling. anyone else have this problem? any advice is appreciated!

when dd2 cries, dd1 will say, 'pick her up, Mummy', but sometimes I can't (e.g., i'm trying to get their food ready). Or, i do ask what we should do. and dd1 will say 'change nappy' or something. it does work sometimes. but dd1's crying seems to have got worse and louder. perhaps she's just in her terrible 2s?

Yes, my DDs are exactly two years apart and we have had this problem. It did get easier as they both got older but for now...

Do you think DD1 is doing it for attention or becasue she doesn't like the noise? For us it was mainly the first reason.

We told DD1 that DD2 is a baby and cries because she cannot talk like her big sister. We explained how lucky DD1 was to be able to talk to us and how sad it was that DD2 wasn't c;ever enough to talk yet. When DD1 played up we asked her to talk to us about what she wanted, if she refused to stop screaming and talk I would tell her I couldn't understand what was wrong with her and that I would be with her in a minute. IF the noise got too much I would tell her I didn't like the noise and either leave the room or ask her to leave (usually I had to leave - often followed by screaming DD1)

I'm not exactly No1 model parent but we also made a huge point about how lucky she is to be a big girl, not have to wear nappies, eat different foods etc etc etc and when DD1 acted like a baby I would ask her if she wanted to be a baby and wear a nappy etc etc. Sometimes she called my bluff so I would start to put a nappy on her - lay still while I get the cold wipes out 'watch out they might sting a bit' and she'd soon change her mind.

Hope something in there will help you. It does get better and soon they will be partners in crime.

BBM, you've written almost exactly what we've been doing with DD1. It's exactly what happened today at breakfast and at lunch. DD2 the baby is teething and weepy so when DD1s yelling started, i did exactly as you described above. It ended up with DD1 screaming in the lounge whilst baby and I stayed at the kitchen table finishing our meals. She truly screamed for 10 minutes, then came back quiet, with a smile and sat down to finish her food as if nothing had happened. She started to yell instantly again when baby only just whimpered.

I'll try to give her the lucky Big Girl talk today and see if it helps. I feel like I'm doing something wrong as well that my children have to cry so much for attention. sigh. I'm glad to hear you say it gets better because so often I don't feel like it will.

Well, you're doing the same thing as I have done so hopefully you aren't doing anything wrong. I totally understand why you write that though as I wonder what on earth I have done to my children to make them scream and cry so much for my attention. Everyone I have asked about it says it is totally normal.

Did you send DD1 out again when she started the crying? You have to be very consistent with it. Defintely sounds like she is trying it on tbh but only you can tell really.

It defintely does get better, your DD1 will realise that your DD2 can become her partner in crime when she is a bit older. They will still have their moments but it will be easier for you to have to cope with. My two fight like mad at times but now they are nearly 2 and 4 I leave them to it - intervening does no good as 5 seconds after separating them they are screaming to be back together