Stressful time with 5yr DD1- seperation/ shyness problem.

[Debris]

My dd1 has at various stages had seperation anxiety, although she seems to be coping well with school, with just the occasional blip.She was due to start a new Rainbows group this evening, she had been at her previous one since November and loved it , but it has closed. The new leader is familiar to her, and she was so happy and excited as we walked there. However she got upset when it was time for me to to leave and no amount of coaxing was working, every time I went to walk away she cried , screamed and clung to me,this went about for 15 minutes,she didnt want to stay, but didnt want to go, by now the poor lady is trying to do circle time, with mydd screaming behind her, my friend tried to help, but dd got hysterical and upset dd2, in the end I left, with 2 crying dds. I just knew that if I had stayed for the session she would want me to stay every week. Have I done the right thing ? I feel for her so much, but what can I do to help her ? Ive got a banging headache ! She said that the only way she will stay is if I stay with her, so I said,'in that case we wont be staying'.It might seem harsh, but I feel I need to be cruel to be kind, she wants to do it , but nerves get in the way.

My dd1 was exactly the same with activities! We went and i left her crying, she always was fine once i'd gone. I was always hard with her though, told her to stop being silly, gave her a kiss and handed her over. She's now 8 and will go anywhere and try anything! Sometimes i think back to how i was and i feel so heartless! But, she always enjoyed herself once she was in so i don't suppose it was too bad just to push her in and leave immediately. I never hung around and tried to talk her round, i thought that would make her worse. However dd2 i know will not cope with this strategy! She's far more sensitive and i know will probably not try clubs and activities. She's 4.9 and i'm hoping she'll start rainbows soon but i doubt she'll go.